ardency doesn't sound like love
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
yah...i'm pretty sure i'll be switching over to livejournal. the whole community thing rocks my face too much...so...go to http://www.livejournal.com/users/dreamsong22/from now on!
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
i took a hot bath for my father suggested it. it was good and it was my first bath with my dead (rubber) ducky which i purchased a week ago in durham (god, don't you remember anything?!). it's a good ducky and is surprisingly good at doing what ever rubber duckies are supposed to do. i don't know. i read a zine, so i wasn't really paying dead any attention. it wanted to cry probably, but couldn't for it has no eyes-just little x's.
i've been shaking though. probably from that weakness you get from being sick. it's quite melodramatic and reminds me of those morbid scenes in movies where someone is sad or sick or something and shaking and then breaking down and cries. but i didn't cry-have no fear. for non-cryer girl is here. yah. i've gotten good at holding it in. when i was a kid (cos i'm so old and wise now) i cried lots, yah i was quite the little prick. o well. now i can hold it in. and then i cry when i need too, like i'm a cloud-i hold it in until it gets too much and then it takes a while to get it out. now i'm just rambling.
the end.
i've been shaking though. probably from that weakness you get from being sick. it's quite melodramatic and reminds me of those morbid scenes in movies where someone is sad or sick or something and shaking and then breaking down and cries. but i didn't cry-have no fear. for non-cryer girl is here. yah. i've gotten good at holding it in. when i was a kid (cos i'm so old and wise now) i cried lots, yah i was quite the little prick. o well. now i can hold it in. and then i cry when i need too, like i'm a cloud-i hold it in until it gets too much and then it takes a while to get it out. now i'm just rambling.
the end.
SUCESS! i checked my email after 5 days of dildoism and not checking, and my review shall be published next month. mwa ha ha. (feel free to laugh with me) i shall warp the minds of all the youngin's who pick it up with my music.
the end.
the end.
woop! i'm sick. and alone. mwa. my parents left me all alone thank god. i slept quite a bit. that is it. i'm just really tired of the whole monotones school thing. now i'm just trying different things every day to get myself through this last quarter of school. and there's only so much i can take of these classes of people i dislike. i try not to judge but...i just can't help myself! and if i do talk to people in class i never am paying attention for i know all i'm doing is subduing myself before the class ends. poor dick, he adores me so but i shall always think of him as quite an ass. he is one of the people i don't pay attention to. remember? he's the one with the flowers.
i've had quite a nice time home. i'm almost finished writing on my white bra. (cos who wants to wear a boring white bra?) and i poked my head out of the window for a bit of rain love. and i watched 4 VH1 countdowns. none of which i gave my full attention and i read 3 Newyorkers and completed my birthday list.
i realized i need to quit being sick so i can retrieve some birthday gifts for jenna and chelsea, i must go to the mall(?) tomorrow night.
craziness.
the end.
the end.
i've had quite a nice time home. i'm almost finished writing on my white bra. (cos who wants to wear a boring white bra?) and i poked my head out of the window for a bit of rain love. and i watched 4 VH1 countdowns. none of which i gave my full attention and i read 3 Newyorkers and completed my birthday list.
i realized i need to quit being sick so i can retrieve some birthday gifts for jenna and chelsea, i must go to the mall(?) tomorrow night.
craziness.
the end.
the end.
Monday, March 08, 2004
did you ever wonder if people you used to know are still alive? just think about it, you'd never know.
in the same class the teacher and the same kid were talking about elliot smith and all the kids were asking who he was and again i was laughing cos they're quite uneducated and then i was sad cos it was my greatest fear. being forgotten after death. cos elliot smith died and all. then they were talking about why he killed himself and these girls thought it was funny. i hate these girls.
the end.
the end.
there was this kid rob in my english class talking about how great air (the band) is and i was laughing cos i disagree.
the end.
the end.
i still want two things...the chocolate factory (as seen on tv), i asked for it for christmas. and an emergency escape ladder. something i asked for to caitlin but i doubt i will recieve it for no one knows were they come from it's like a baby and we're like 2 year olds. it's quite horrible to be a 2 year old.
the end.
the end.
right now i'm trying to think of things for my birthday list. for my parents...so far i have a cd list and a subscription to NYLON. i'm listening to the get up kids, GUILT SHOW stream. that's all. it's not to amazing. very bouncy. i realized i have a scanner and maybe i can stop with this perpetual laziness and put up my real drawings (real meaning ones i drew not ones i did with microsoft paint.)
what o what shall i get chelsi? maybe i could get her a cd, that's what she asked for but i'm lazy. i want to just go to a mall and find her something. good cd's don't live at the mall. and i need to get something for jenna. durn it. o my. so much to think of. but no thoughts here for chelsea might see!
the end.
what o what shall i get chelsi? maybe i could get her a cd, that's what she asked for but i'm lazy. i want to just go to a mall and find her something. good cd's don't live at the mall. and i need to get something for jenna. durn it. o my. so much to think of. but no thoughts here for chelsea might see!
the end.
ok i'm gonna tell all about amy's before i just completely forget. umm. we (chelsea, caitlin, amy, and i) had a nice dinner with her family then bombarded the grocery store and got food and ingredients for a german chocolate cake which we later made and devoured. they rolled me around in the cart and about killed me. but i fancy getting rolled around in various things. then we ran into the van with our groceries like we had just completed a heist and completed our evening with baking, movie watching and charades. sigh, charades. i do heart charades. even though i suck at it, i like giving people akward words such as vibrator vaginal farts, and anal sex. then we stayed up till about 4 when we got tired of messing with amy's sleeping mind and restrained ourselves to just putting icing on her nose. the next morning we ate a huge breakfast prepared by her mother and father. it was quite good and they were quite the italian stereotypes, straight outta newyork with their accents and pleas to eat some more. then we took a walk to some horses and played hard to get but eventually caved in and fed them grass. then we explored this crater made by bulldozers where a forest used to be. it reminded me of the end of the world. then we (me and chelsea) got lost on our way home. mwa.
the end.
the end.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
i'll never finish. it's never finished. it goes on and on and it scares me, knowing that it'll never end.
another oneword.com entry. i don't feel so much a dildo this time, cos atleast this time i used proper grammer.
another oneword.com entry. i don't feel so much a dildo this time, cos atleast this time i used proper grammer.
i only laugh at spilt milk.
i spilt milk on our blue chair once again. it really should smell by now. it being the chair. it did once but it magically lifted from the chair like a spirit. maybe the spirit was a junkyard keeper or someone who had a slow decaying death.
i will write of amy's latest "get-to-gether" someday but i have something shorter and more recent and to me, more important. my old friend amanda called. it's crazy, it being her life. it all started a while ago when her father started cheating on her mama. then they seperated and she and her mama and sister, chrissie moved into an apartment, then her dad broke in the apartment all drunk like and violent and tore the place up. then he moved away and stopped paying child support and they didn't know where he was. then they found out he was back in oklahoma and still not paying. he called her once, and told her to tell her mom to lose his number and she said she would tell her, and she would lose his number as well and after he begged a bit she hung up. that was the last time she talked to him. now the most recent news is he came back, with a girlfriend, and the whole family plus the girlfriend lived together and that of course did not work. So now they're in another apartment with another new number and she's ok. the last time i had talked to her it was the week before school, so about 6 months ago. yah. so now she's kind of a loner at school except her boyfriend who she lost her virginity to on a roof top.
yup. i've known her for a couple years and she's been one of my best friends. i might travel to apex to see her next weekend.
the end.
i spilt milk on our blue chair once again. it really should smell by now. it being the chair. it did once but it magically lifted from the chair like a spirit. maybe the spirit was a junkyard keeper or someone who had a slow decaying death.
i will write of amy's latest "get-to-gether" someday but i have something shorter and more recent and to me, more important. my old friend amanda called. it's crazy, it being her life. it all started a while ago when her father started cheating on her mama. then they seperated and she and her mama and sister, chrissie moved into an apartment, then her dad broke in the apartment all drunk like and violent and tore the place up. then he moved away and stopped paying child support and they didn't know where he was. then they found out he was back in oklahoma and still not paying. he called her once, and told her to tell her mom to lose his number and she said she would tell her, and she would lose his number as well and after he begged a bit she hung up. that was the last time she talked to him. now the most recent news is he came back, with a girlfriend, and the whole family plus the girlfriend lived together and that of course did not work. So now they're in another apartment with another new number and she's ok. the last time i had talked to her it was the week before school, so about 6 months ago. yah. so now she's kind of a loner at school except her boyfriend who she lost her virginity to on a roof top.
yup. i've known her for a couple years and she's been one of my best friends. i might travel to apex to see her next weekend.
the end.
i'm really tired and have decided you'll have to wait for last night and this morning's adventures. instead i shall share the ice cream man story.
ok, so i'm watching game show network's rerun of the match game with my mama and i hear this depressing music box type music and i get really irritated for it was blaring out the panelists' answers. So i follow the music to the open window in the kitchen and peer out across my backyard and into the town homes behind us and i see a blue van driving slowly and that's when i was hit with the best, most optimistic possibility-an icecream man! living out in suburbia it is hard to come by something like an icecream truck, it's almost like a fairy tale for us.
so i rushed around the house looking for clothes and money and freaking out for i was so scared i'd miss this once in a lifetime oppurtunity. and so i changed twice and got my money and ran out the door. i walked ever so slyly, keeping my ears open for the music, and my eye out for the blue icecream truck.
finally after stalking through half the neighborhood i finally spotted the icecream man stopped at a corner and flagged him down after his many misconceptions that i was only waving.
i bought a sundae cone. then, just to be slick i walked down a house to caitlin's and told her of my triumph and ofcourse she couldn't turn down capturing her own fairytale icecream so she, her sister, and i walked down to the very end of the neighborhood and conquered a cone for each of them. then i realized that it had taken a little over half an hour and i had forgotten to tell my mama where i was going (not the first time) and so yet again i flagged down the ice cream van and bought a cone for her. than i had to stand for a bit for i did not feel in a mood for walking alongside the icecream man.
ok and to top off how pathetic this all is-it was all me and chelsea could talk about when we were packing for amy's via telephone.
the end.
ok, so i'm watching game show network's rerun of the match game with my mama and i hear this depressing music box type music and i get really irritated for it was blaring out the panelists' answers. So i follow the music to the open window in the kitchen and peer out across my backyard and into the town homes behind us and i see a blue van driving slowly and that's when i was hit with the best, most optimistic possibility-an icecream man! living out in suburbia it is hard to come by something like an icecream truck, it's almost like a fairy tale for us.
so i rushed around the house looking for clothes and money and freaking out for i was so scared i'd miss this once in a lifetime oppurtunity. and so i changed twice and got my money and ran out the door. i walked ever so slyly, keeping my ears open for the music, and my eye out for the blue icecream truck.
finally after stalking through half the neighborhood i finally spotted the icecream man stopped at a corner and flagged him down after his many misconceptions that i was only waving.
i bought a sundae cone. then, just to be slick i walked down a house to caitlin's and told her of my triumph and ofcourse she couldn't turn down capturing her own fairytale icecream so she, her sister, and i walked down to the very end of the neighborhood and conquered a cone for each of them. then i realized that it had taken a little over half an hour and i had forgotten to tell my mama where i was going (not the first time) and so yet again i flagged down the ice cream van and bought a cone for her. than i had to stand for a bit for i did not feel in a mood for walking alongside the icecream man.
ok and to top off how pathetic this all is-it was all me and chelsea could talk about when we were packing for amy's via telephone.
the end.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
i woke up to cats and dogs, rolled over to see the clock, rolled over again to the window and saw a dreary sky but not one dog and the only cat in sight was my own, fiona. Then again i rolled in a circle and it was pouring once again. i watched the rain for a while then rolled really awkwardly down the length of my bed and rolled on my knuckle with my tit and hurt it. i rolled onto my back and then on to my floor and then realized it was noon when the phone rang. it was amy. girls night in at her house tonight. woop. i need a ride.
i'm not sure what the point of that paragraph was but that's pretty much what my morning consisted of.
so far this afternoon i ate some leftover dominoes pizza, watched gameshownetwork, wrote an order for some zines from pander zine distro, and wrote a letter to my grandma and grandpa (cos i'm a good li'l girl). i called chelsea, but wasn't in a message machine mood (yes there is such a mood) and then called caitlin but was disgusted by the fact that she already had a ride with her mama after they go grocery shopping and said bye cos she's been annoying me lately. then i called chelsea again and got a busy signal and realized she might not even be home for she has reminded me several a times that she has tae-kwon-do on saturdays.
the end.
p.s. comng soon:the ice cream man. cos i can't write now, i have to do chores.
i'm not sure what the point of that paragraph was but that's pretty much what my morning consisted of.
so far this afternoon i ate some leftover dominoes pizza, watched gameshownetwork, wrote an order for some zines from pander zine distro, and wrote a letter to my grandma and grandpa (cos i'm a good li'l girl). i called chelsea, but wasn't in a message machine mood (yes there is such a mood) and then called caitlin but was disgusted by the fact that she already had a ride with her mama after they go grocery shopping and said bye cos she's been annoying me lately. then i called chelsea again and got a busy signal and realized she might not even be home for she has reminded me several a times that she has tae-kwon-do on saturdays.
the end.
p.s. comng soon:the ice cream man. cos i can't write now, i have to do chores.
Friday, March 05, 2004
woah! i'm watching this commercial and it's the same girl from Lingo! god i'm a loser. i watch the gameshow network...
the end.
the end.
ardency doesn't sound like love
Friday, March 05, 2004
the way my skin feels when the nails scrape against the chalkboard are exactly how my skin feels write now. prickly, with your touch.
god i'm such a dildo. i meant is exactly, feels right now and from your touch. go to oneword.com and see how badly you screw up too. ¶ 7:00:48 PM
those last 2 posts reminded me of my old friend audrey. she was always fucked up on something. i miss her. her energy was really good even when she couldn't talk cos everything was numb. cos she wasn't one of those who drugged up on everthing to numb the "pain", she did it cos she, like me, she decided that life is a big experiment so fulfill you desires before it's too late. we agreed on that. i miss her i guess. but i go to private (school) and my laziness cut me off from all my old friends.
the end. ¶ 6:45:33 PM
that's 10 motrin, or 20 no-brand. ¶ 6:41:54 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2004
i just poured out a warm soda outside. It's really warm and dark out there so i didn't mind. I poured it into the soil of these dafodils up by my mailbox and soon felt the sticky pepsi reach my toes. this i didn't even mind. I'm just so happy it finally stopped snowing. or maybe it's because i'm heavily sedated by iv prophin pills that i treated my stomach with.
my stomach is easily restrained but that did not stop me from taking five times the recommended amount.
my mother hates me.
or she loves me but hates everything about me.
especially the fact that i'm hers.
the end. ¶ 8:40:07 PM
Friday, March 05, 2004
the way my skin feels when the nails scrape against the chalkboard are exactly how my skin feels write now. prickly, with your touch.
god i'm such a dildo. i meant is exactly, feels right now and from your touch. go to oneword.com and see how badly you screw up too. ¶ 7:00:48 PM
those last 2 posts reminded me of my old friend audrey. she was always fucked up on something. i miss her. her energy was really good even when she couldn't talk cos everything was numb. cos she wasn't one of those who drugged up on everthing to numb the "pain", she did it cos she, like me, she decided that life is a big experiment so fulfill you desires before it's too late. we agreed on that. i miss her i guess. but i go to private (school) and my laziness cut me off from all my old friends.
the end. ¶ 6:45:33 PM
that's 10 motrin, or 20 no-brand. ¶ 6:41:54 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2004
i just poured out a warm soda outside. It's really warm and dark out there so i didn't mind. I poured it into the soil of these dafodils up by my mailbox and soon felt the sticky pepsi reach my toes. this i didn't even mind. I'm just so happy it finally stopped snowing. or maybe it's because i'm heavily sedated by iv prophin pills that i treated my stomach with.
my stomach is easily restrained but that did not stop me from taking five times the recommended amount.
my mother hates me.
or she loves me but hates everything about me.
especially the fact that i'm hers.
the end. ¶ 8:40:07 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Yet Another Cell Phone Adventure...
Mwa. Today we found a girl's cell phone and called her friends and breathed obscenely into the mouth piece. And texted back to one of the friends who had called back that, "I like to kill babies and piss on them." A little explicit? Maybe. A little funny? Yeah, especially when you dislike the people as much as we did.
the end.
p.s. the baby thing was from this girl Rossie's brother, he's a real crack head (not as in factual crackhead but as in a big crackhead) and he wrote it in her geometry book.
Mwa. Today we found a girl's cell phone and called her friends and breathed obscenely into the mouth piece. And texted back to one of the friends who had called back that, "I like to kill babies and piss on them." A little explicit? Maybe. A little funny? Yeah, especially when you dislike the people as much as we did.
the end.
p.s. the baby thing was from this girl Rossie's brother, he's a real crack head (not as in factual crackhead but as in a big crackhead) and he wrote it in her geometry book.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Monday, March 01, 2004
"that is absurd!"
me, commenting on my last post...but i lied it wasn't absurd, it was being moody-hey all borderline kids are! woo hoo! join our heavily medicated club!
when are you considered addicted? the first craving?
caitlin, i put your favorite paint on the side>! i wish i could tell you it was hell without you afterschool, but that would be lying. i hate to lie. no matter what any personality quiz says. i stayed with micheal and amy and after amy left i became micheal's tagalong and speaking of girlscout cookies; i got my do-si-dos from the girlscout. and chelsea mentioned that she wasn't offered any cookies a total of 6 times afterschool.
speaking of chelsea, micheal and i kinda busted her up...on accident. we were trying to get her to put on micheal's glasses, and she wouldn't so we had to resort to "violence", and in doing so accidently hit her head on the wall...and she criiied...i said i was sorry and accompanied her into the little boy's bathroom and all was fine cos it was chelsea-she cries all the time(again, not a lie. i've known and been best friends with the girl since first of grades.)but micheal was freaking out and looked like he was about to cry. just me, the hidden depressio, in the midst of cry babies.
the end.
p.s. here's my idol once again...
mwa. what i'd give to pull off 3 lip rings. i'm still hanging on to gettin' the one repierced this summer.
me, commenting on my last post...but i lied it wasn't absurd, it was being moody-hey all borderline kids are! woo hoo! join our heavily medicated club!
when are you considered addicted? the first craving?
caitlin, i put your favorite paint on the side>! i wish i could tell you it was hell without you afterschool, but that would be lying. i hate to lie. no matter what any personality quiz says. i stayed with micheal and amy and after amy left i became micheal's tagalong and speaking of girlscout cookies; i got my do-si-dos from the girlscout. and chelsea mentioned that she wasn't offered any cookies a total of 6 times afterschool.
speaking of chelsea, micheal and i kinda busted her up...on accident. we were trying to get her to put on micheal's glasses, and she wouldn't so we had to resort to "violence", and in doing so accidently hit her head on the wall...and she criiied...i said i was sorry and accompanied her into the little boy's bathroom and all was fine cos it was chelsea-she cries all the time(again, not a lie. i've known and been best friends with the girl since first of grades.)but micheal was freaking out and looked like he was about to cry. just me, the hidden depressio, in the midst of cry babies.
the end.
p.s. here's my idol once again...
mwa. what i'd give to pull off 3 lip rings. i'm still hanging on to gettin' the one repierced this summer.
i'm so tired of fighting with everyone. caitlin. i cried too after our fight, but just a drop. i've cried so much in my "life", i know how to hold it in. every one is so self involved. they say they love me, they say they care. but will they come to lay a rose on my limp body? why are their words not enough for me? is it me. ofcourse it's me. i create it all. the doctor says it's because of genes-maybe an imbalance. put her on the chemical. if someone is so easily changed with a little pill, then what makes a person a person? is it what they choose to perfect? is it their level of perfection? is it their imperfections that they forgot to medicate? why do i ask myself so many questions? all the interrogative punctuation just shows the horribly high level of confusion. but i still feel like i know so much. i have to prove that to everyone. why am i so fucked up? why am i this way?
and i thought i was over my depression phase. funny story. i'm a fifth grader. i come up with plans of suicide in my mind. a whisper. i write i suck. i suck. i suck. i suck. all over my journals and leave them open in my room. a word. i cry every night, loudly so someone may hear through the paper thin walls and come save me from my premature depression. a scream. my mama asks me if i want to be sent to a psychiatrist. i can't, i won't. memories fragment... why not? would it have helped? now all i want is someone to talk to. i'm so tired of bias, advice, understanding. i just want someone to listen.
no apologies.
the end.
and i thought i was over my depression phase. funny story. i'm a fifth grader. i come up with plans of suicide in my mind. a whisper. i write i suck. i suck. i suck. i suck. all over my journals and leave them open in my room. a word. i cry every night, loudly so someone may hear through the paper thin walls and come save me from my premature depression. a scream. my mama asks me if i want to be sent to a psychiatrist. i can't, i won't. memories fragment... why not? would it have helped? now all i want is someone to talk to. i'm so tired of bias, advice, understanding. i just want someone to listen.
no apologies.
the end.
Exhibitionist
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
o no fucking way am i a histrionic again. even though some is really true, i do like attention and i have my temper (caitlin sure knows it...) but sorry-i'm not insecure, and i'm not that extreme. anyways, so i'm not satisfied so i took it again like half an hour later...dodododo
Seer
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
fuck it. am i the only with a case of dejavu? remember the personality disorder test?(scroll down to see it and refresh your memory.)
the end.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
caitlin, do you agree to this guy's simialarity to jon. (the one with the tight shirts from this summer at noca) maybe it's only cos he's wearing a tight shirt and he's skinny.
i just saw the "latest" crafmaftic adjustable bed commercial. this is the exact dialogue:
The man exclaims in frustration, "I'm about ready to explode! I can't find iany comfortable positions to sleep in!"
Then the woman, also expressing her disgust in a slightly british accent, replied, "We're turning into sleep-deprived monsters!"
or maybe you just had to be there. so keep an eye out! and an ear out. and if you have to choose keep the ear out first and record it and then put your eyes out for the lady looks funny as well.
The man exclaims in frustration, "I'm about ready to explode! I can't find iany comfortable positions to sleep in!"
Then the woman, also expressing her disgust in a slightly british accent, replied, "We're turning into sleep-deprived monsters!"
or maybe you just had to be there. so keep an eye out! and an ear out. and if you have to choose keep the ear out first and record it and then put your eyes out for the lady looks funny as well.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
isn't it bea-u-ti-ful? i just found it and it was entitled emily i think i sorta remember it...i either did it when someone was there with me or they did it...quite a mystery. my mind is a mystery.
the end.
i'm spending the night with my family...no it's not as pathetic as you think! i swear...they grounded me to have family time. i'm never home...they say. anyways...now i'm currently watching my father harrass my kitty baby by dancing to UNC-TV Bluegrass. o. my. god. the host just exclaimed, "Holla, ya'll!" yes i do indeed live in a twisted place. i am so confused-so many conflicting images of this place-are we in suburbia? city? boondocks? ghetto? who knows. i'm gonna go with surburbia filled with people who think they live in those places.
once back when i was in a public school my friend briana was walking me to my bus (# 13) and exclaimed to me, "Damn girl, your bus is way out here in the boondocks!" that was the first time i ever heard the word "boondocks" used in a sentence.
ok my parents are assholes. i say, "let's play a boardgame, or cards, or something of the family time orientation!" in a very enthusiastic way and they called me a brat and went upstairs...on the bright side i have the downer stairs to my self. on the dark hopeless lifeless side i am wasting a perfectly good saturday night. it's only 9. mwa i do feel sad. i won't get over this until 11. then i'll lie to myself and be like "emily, you just had a wonderful, excitement filled, night and came home a little early."
newyorkernewyorkernewyorker, you never let me down. i shall leave my computer alone for a tidling for i have a new yorker to read and a chapelle show to watch.
the end.
tomorrow i'm going to amy's concert thing. her boyfriend scott might be there, and he's pretty chill so i'm okay. and if it's still boring i can play "whould you fuck him?" in my head. me and branden used to play that together...wow! two branden associations in one day!!!!i really am going inanely insane.
the end.
once back when i was in a public school my friend briana was walking me to my bus (# 13) and exclaimed to me, "Damn girl, your bus is way out here in the boondocks!" that was the first time i ever heard the word "boondocks" used in a sentence.
ok my parents are assholes. i say, "let's play a boardgame, or cards, or something of the family time orientation!" in a very enthusiastic way and they called me a brat and went upstairs...on the bright side i have the downer stairs to my self. on the dark hopeless lifeless side i am wasting a perfectly good saturday night. it's only 9. mwa i do feel sad. i won't get over this until 11. then i'll lie to myself and be like "emily, you just had a wonderful, excitement filled, night and came home a little early."
newyorkernewyorkernewyorker, you never let me down. i shall leave my computer alone for a tidling for i have a new yorker to read and a chapelle show to watch.
the end.
tomorrow i'm going to amy's concert thing. her boyfriend scott might be there, and he's pretty chill so i'm okay. and if it's still boring i can play "whould you fuck him?" in my head. me and branden used to play that together...wow! two branden associations in one day!!!!i really am going inanely insane.
the end.
this is a picture of me in my natural enviroment...a pink room where the only furniture/appliances that exist are a multicolored futon(i really do have it, and that's really how it looks only darker cos it's old) and a laptop...or atleast that's how it is my head.
so wonderful. this is the chick (cheep, cheep) i was speaking of in the aforementioned post.
and yes this also means i do not need your help, caitlin. i actually shun your help! help go slink away-you are not wanted here! *lightning*crash*bam*help slinking away to a corner to cry*
the end.
i was sighing remembering the cop who almost hit on me.
that was also the day i decided to bold names and described micheal's new year's party...hum.
watching my kitty baby. aaaw. she so cute.
i have this picture of a girl who actually looks hott with nose rings(and lip rings too, but i already love those-obviously for i used to have one, and o if i didn't tell you i am getting it repierced this summer-for no one can stop me then! mwa ha ha!). and yet again i cannot show you for i don't know how!!! caitlin help me! i know you say you forgot but >frustration<.
the end.
that was also the day i decided to bold names and described micheal's new year's party...hum.
watching my kitty baby. aaaw. she so cute.
i have this picture of a girl who actually looks hott with nose rings(and lip rings too, but i already love those-obviously for i used to have one, and o if i didn't tell you i am getting it repierced this summer-for no one can stop me then! mwa ha ha!). and yet again i cannot show you for i don't know how!!! caitlin help me! i know you say you forgot but >frustration<.
the end.
i just got back from brightleaf square in downtown durham. it was not amazing. for example millenium records...nothing compared to school kids where i wanted to go, but i did go to a store across the street called something(marion?) imports and it was good.
i wish i had a camera or the knowledge to show you what i got. i could make a beautiful display and everything.
the people of durham were very unenthusiastic except the cops. the cops were good and jolly and asked if i was 'aware' that my shoes were untied. i ofcourse replied that yes i was, and that i'd given up(tyng my shoes), and then reminiced about the good old days when i had branden to tie my shoes-this leads me to believe he's a saddist for i always treated him like shit and he still went around telling people (including me) that he loved me. bizarre.
there was also a room of those little snowy villages, o how i adore them...it's the one thing that i can relate to with old women everywhere. and so i was admiring them and one of those old women was watching me and smiling, and then saw me again at the counter with my dead ducky*, super awesome pulp fiction cigarette case**, and it's a boy and it's a girl pencils and gave me a look of not-so-much-approval.
*o it is so cute, with it's little x's for eyes and it's black with a morbid hospital tile green beak. It was either that or the devil duck, which was just as cute but just didn't "speak" to me as the dead ducky did. they were both rubber duckies.
**it's really pretty and it's got the cover of a pulp fiction book called "Bedroom Eyes" by Maurice Dekobra and on the top it says, "A LADIES MAN-A NAUGHTY WIFE-A WICKED MISTRESS" and it has this voluptous blonde on the front in a neglige smoking a cigarette on the front. o yeah i don't smoke cigarettes-they're yucky and my daddy does and consequently coughs out about a gallon of flem every morning...though i do adore a woman who smokes it cos it looks classie and cool at the time.
the end.
i wish i had a camera or the knowledge to show you what i got. i could make a beautiful display and everything.
the people of durham were very unenthusiastic except the cops. the cops were good and jolly and asked if i was 'aware' that my shoes were untied. i ofcourse replied that yes i was, and that i'd given up(tyng my shoes), and then reminiced about the good old days when i had branden to tie my shoes-this leads me to believe he's a saddist for i always treated him like shit and he still went around telling people (including me) that he loved me. bizarre.
there was also a room of those little snowy villages, o how i adore them...it's the one thing that i can relate to with old women everywhere. and so i was admiring them and one of those old women was watching me and smiling, and then saw me again at the counter with my dead ducky*, super awesome pulp fiction cigarette case**, and it's a boy and it's a girl pencils and gave me a look of not-so-much-approval.
*o it is so cute, with it's little x's for eyes and it's black with a morbid hospital tile green beak. It was either that or the devil duck, which was just as cute but just didn't "speak" to me as the dead ducky did. they were both rubber duckies.
**it's really pretty and it's got the cover of a pulp fiction book called "Bedroom Eyes" by Maurice Dekobra and on the top it says, "A LADIES MAN-A NAUGHTY WIFE-A WICKED MISTRESS" and it has this voluptous blonde on the front in a neglige smoking a cigarette on the front. o yeah i don't smoke cigarettes-they're yucky and my daddy does and consequently coughs out about a gallon of flem every morning...though i do adore a woman who smokes it cos it looks classie and cool at the time.
the end.
just sitting here licking my wounds...more like my pants...now i'm wondering why i'm licking my pants and why i told you. some days...i just can't comprehend anything.
dammit. i just erased what i just wrote which really sucks ass for i have to copy and paste all my i's and k's and commas for my keyboard on my laptop is perpetually screwed especially because it is nearing it's 4th year. but i still love it. i can not give up all the files. too much to sacrifice...50 favorite links-20 paint files(that i still can't post!)-25 word files. hmmm...fuck it...but the keyboard shall drive me to an even deeper insanity...and i shall be sent to Danver's State Asylum(mwa-caitlin i'm waiting for your laughter to find me) o well i always wanted to see one. So...yah. and maybe my beloved friends can come and give me fruit caes and hide nail files in them...or is that jail?
mmmmmmm......
the end.
dammit. i just erased what i just wrote which really sucks ass for i have to copy and paste all my i's and k's and commas for my keyboard on my laptop is perpetually screwed especially because it is nearing it's 4th year. but i still love it. i can not give up all the files. too much to sacrifice...50 favorite links-20 paint files(that i still can't post!)-25 word files. hmmm...fuck it...but the keyboard shall drive me to an even deeper insanity...and i shall be sent to Danver's State Asylum(mwa-caitlin i'm waiting for your laughter to find me) o well i always wanted to see one. So...yah. and maybe my beloved friends can come and give me fruit caes and hide nail files in them...or is that jail?
mmmmmmm......
the end.
take the "are you a democrat or a republican?" test.
and go to mewing.net to love or sass.
mwa ha ha. take the quiz. no matter how democratically biased it may be. mwa. i heart liberals. maybe cos i am one....huh.
the end.
last night was okay. i went to a show that some guy from my school invited me to, he is called "greg". his band sucked but the others weren't so bad except this one that just covered a bunch of songs and was trying to hard to look "cool" cos he spiked his hair and wore eyeliner and was wearing a shirt that jenna said she was gonna buy once before realizing it was for guys. he also had a lisp and we (chelsea, jenna and I) decided we didn't like him and so it kinda ruined his whole band. my favorite was "My Favorite Illness" and "The Korovas(?)" there is a question mark for i do not know how to spell it. but yah the night wasn't extremely exciting for it was just the three of us and people who passed by and said hi cos they were from our school and there for greg and left after his band played and missed the last band which was the best band so...yah that's it. but we did throw water bottles at people's legs and talked really loudly and sang some nmt songs loudly (my vagina, scotum...nmt is micheal's band) so all in all it wasn't a complete waste. i also had awkward conversations with people in the bathroom about the state of my untied shoes and how the guy from greg's band sang.
ok linky time:
erase the days, greg's band
they weren't very good, and they all claim to be straight edge which makes me laugh cos they're just in highschool. But if they really are and really know what it's all about i totally support them for i wish i had the will power to be so. but i love my vodka and meat far too much.
the korovas
they're pretty mediocre but they aren't bad. they also have a pretty website. and they claim to have some pretty awesome influences such as: the smiths, the velvet underground, sonic youth, modest mouse etc.
my favorite illness (my favorite band) the illness was later identified as syphillis
my favorite band...that sums it up. they're above average for local highschoolers.
i must flee for Apocolypse on the History Channel is pleading for my viewing.
the end.
ok linky time:
erase the days, greg's band
they weren't very good, and they all claim to be straight edge which makes me laugh cos they're just in highschool. But if they really are and really know what it's all about i totally support them for i wish i had the will power to be so. but i love my vodka and meat far too much.
the korovas
they're pretty mediocre but they aren't bad. they also have a pretty website. and they claim to have some pretty awesome influences such as: the smiths, the velvet underground, sonic youth, modest mouse etc.
my favorite illness (my favorite band) the illness was later identified as syphillis
my favorite band...that sums it up. they're above average for local highschoolers.
i must flee for Apocolypse on the History Channel is pleading for my viewing.
the end.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
this was an essay i wrote for english...and mr. friedman is my english teacher who won't stop talking to me and i secretly dislike him. O and the subject was the Odyssey...yeh don't try to see the connection-for there isn't one.
.
By Emily Brink
Illustrations by Drew of ToothpasteforDinner.com
&
Natalie Dee
“Put the toaster down, sonny.” The worried cop yelled at Danny Calabrese, a nice young smart boy who was driven to insanity and a homicidal attempt by an English teacher who went too far.
I could hear everything from under feathered boas and moth-eaten coats in Mr. Friedman’s bedroom closet. All I could wonder was how we could get away with this and what Mr. Friedman was doing with feathered boas.
“Just back away from the bathtub.”
“No! I have to go through with it! His excruciatingly easy tests and obvious test reviews! I just can’t take it!”
“It’ll be alright” The cop beckoned Danny with his false empathy.
“Okay, maybe.” Danny uneasily backed down, feeling the tenseness in his arms and deciding the pain of holding the 10 pound retro toaster wasn’t worth it.
“Good, now all you have to do is back away from the bathroom and put the toaster down.” The mustached cop instructed while a party was raging in his head in honor of his victory.
“Pass the joint.” One thought said to another.
“Isn’t it just a bit ironic that you want to smoke some an illegal substance and we’re in a cop’s head?”
“Yeh, but just think, we have a cop to look out for us, who’d expect a cop?”
While back in Mr. Friedman’s house Danny was contemplating how to get out of this. “Um, ok, I’ll back down…but you-you aren’t going to turn me in right?”
“Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to,” The cop cautiously admitted, “Attempted homicide is a crime.”
“Well, I’m afraid that if I have to go to jail, I might as well go out with a bang!”
“NOOO!” I shot out of the dress laden bedroom closet and to Danny who was running as well. We screamed loudly so Chelsea, our other accomplice, would know to ‘flee’ as well.
“What happened?” Chelsea interrogated as we busted out of the house that would come to be known as ‘That Haunted House That, That Guy Who Was Like An English Teacher Guy Or Something Like Died In’ in a required 90’s stereotypical stoner dialect.
“Where are we going?” Chelsea asked with all the breath that was left after they had run 10 blocks.
“I don’t know, let’s just keep running.” I replied.
Soon we passed out at rather than picked out a parking lot to stop at.
Danny, thinking of his spotless 4.0 record getting soiled each second, was sitting on the gravely and beer-spilled parking lot ground rocking back and forth letting the crazy man out from his hiding place deep inside. While Chelsea and I, being the irrational people we are, pulled out travel checkers, and began to play.
“Check mate! I win!” I began about to stand up in triumph but was interrupted by Chelsea and Danny at the same time. This, of course posed a problem of what to listen to and was solved quickly enough to hear Chelsea spoiling my win by exclaiming that checkmate was a term used for chess not checkers.
“I know that…” I began my excuse and decided that, “But doesn’t checkmate make so much more sense in checkers then chess, it has so much more in common! It’s like a bad couple made by a mediocre matchmaker.”
“I see, I see.” Chelsea contemplated the excuse’s truth. “We’ve so got to hunt that matchmaker down and bring her to justice, only we’ll get the justice, not her. She’ll go to jail. Doesn’t bring to justice mean you’ll get what you want? But literally it could mean both right?”
“I know, that’s so effed up!”
“STOP!!” Danny shouted at us (and interrupted us)getting fed up with us ignoring him, and possibly for being second best in my mind leaving him for the scraps of my attention (see up 3 paragraphs). “Will you listen to yourselves? Aren’t you worried about what will…” Danny began his lecture that went into the importance of rational priorities and how we are lacking of them, our irresponsibility, and partial plans. All Chelsea and I had in defense was to stare at him long enough to make him uncomfortable, then play my favorite game!
“Ok, so Duck, duck, goose is the name of the game,” I began but was again interrupted. (Yes, it is horrible)
“Will either of you two stop thinking of games at a time like this?!” Danny the interrupter yelled.
“Calm down, actually don’t until we begin the game, for that is why I want you to play.” And of course this powerful speech of mine won them over and I began instructing them to sit in as much of a circle as they could manage and wait in the anxiousness the game was famous for.
“Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck…” And that’s when it happened, I was struck by the other thing the game was so famous for, indecision.
Then another thing hit. Danny pulled out a knife from a hidden pocket out of his jacket and screamed with violently expressive facials, “I just can’t take this!”
“NO DANNY DON’T!” Chelsea and I screamed in unison.
“I just can’t stand it anymore, the cops will get me and even if they don’t I’ll probably be haunted by Mr. Friedman…in drag!” He tried to choke back a sob, “and I won’t go to college and my parents will favor my sister over me, cause at least she’s not in jail!”
That’s when I just had to go for it, I leaped on Danny aiming my grasp for the knife…
…and the knife did hit danny, but it missed his heart and cut off his thumb.
The End
Emily
After leaving Danny in the E.R., drove to Mr. Friedman’s and cleaned out his bedroom closet taking all the dresses and feathered boas out of respect for the dead. (I mean who wants to go to a dead friend’s house and find out they were a transvestite?) Then graduated from highschool, college and won a Nobel Peace Prize for her theories on the words chess, checkers and the use of checkmate.
The Cop
After the whole ordeal got pretty deep into drugs, and became the next Pablo Escobar.
Chelsea
There is a trial pending for her guilt for involvement in the killing of a matchmaker which she claimed was ‘evil and mediocre’.
Mr. Friedman
Uhh…died. But did come back to life in a dream and said that some story called ‘Here is a Toaster’ was really good or something. Like what’s with that?
Danny
After surviving massive blood loss and being run to the E.R. went on to being validictorian except second, not first for he was in intensive therapy for a quarter because of an acute fear of toasters.
the end.
.
By Emily Brink
Illustrations by Drew of ToothpasteforDinner.com
&
Natalie Dee
“Put the toaster down, sonny.” The worried cop yelled at Danny Calabrese, a nice young smart boy who was driven to insanity and a homicidal attempt by an English teacher who went too far.
I could hear everything from under feathered boas and moth-eaten coats in Mr. Friedman’s bedroom closet. All I could wonder was how we could get away with this and what Mr. Friedman was doing with feathered boas.
“Just back away from the bathtub.”
“No! I have to go through with it! His excruciatingly easy tests and obvious test reviews! I just can’t take it!”
“It’ll be alright” The cop beckoned Danny with his false empathy.
“Okay, maybe.” Danny uneasily backed down, feeling the tenseness in his arms and deciding the pain of holding the 10 pound retro toaster wasn’t worth it.
“Good, now all you have to do is back away from the bathroom and put the toaster down.” The mustached cop instructed while a party was raging in his head in honor of his victory.
“Pass the joint.” One thought said to another.
“Isn’t it just a bit ironic that you want to smoke some an illegal substance and we’re in a cop’s head?”
“Yeh, but just think, we have a cop to look out for us, who’d expect a cop?”
While back in Mr. Friedman’s house Danny was contemplating how to get out of this. “Um, ok, I’ll back down…but you-you aren’t going to turn me in right?”
“Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to,” The cop cautiously admitted, “Attempted homicide is a crime.”
“Well, I’m afraid that if I have to go to jail, I might as well go out with a bang!”
“NOOO!” I shot out of the dress laden bedroom closet and to Danny who was running as well. We screamed loudly so Chelsea, our other accomplice, would know to ‘flee’ as well.
“What happened?” Chelsea interrogated as we busted out of the house that would come to be known as ‘That Haunted House That, That Guy Who Was Like An English Teacher Guy Or Something Like Died In’ in a required 90’s stereotypical stoner dialect.
“Where are we going?” Chelsea asked with all the breath that was left after they had run 10 blocks.
“I don’t know, let’s just keep running.” I replied.
Soon we passed out at rather than picked out a parking lot to stop at.
Danny, thinking of his spotless 4.0 record getting soiled each second, was sitting on the gravely and beer-spilled parking lot ground rocking back and forth letting the crazy man out from his hiding place deep inside. While Chelsea and I, being the irrational people we are, pulled out travel checkers, and began to play.
“Check mate! I win!” I began about to stand up in triumph but was interrupted by Chelsea and Danny at the same time. This, of course posed a problem of what to listen to and was solved quickly enough to hear Chelsea spoiling my win by exclaiming that checkmate was a term used for chess not checkers.
“I know that…” I began my excuse and decided that, “But doesn’t checkmate make so much more sense in checkers then chess, it has so much more in common! It’s like a bad couple made by a mediocre matchmaker.”
“I see, I see.” Chelsea contemplated the excuse’s truth. “We’ve so got to hunt that matchmaker down and bring her to justice, only we’ll get the justice, not her. She’ll go to jail. Doesn’t bring to justice mean you’ll get what you want? But literally it could mean both right?”
“I know, that’s so effed up!”
“STOP!!” Danny shouted at us (and interrupted us)getting fed up with us ignoring him, and possibly for being second best in my mind leaving him for the scraps of my attention (see up 3 paragraphs). “Will you listen to yourselves? Aren’t you worried about what will…” Danny began his lecture that went into the importance of rational priorities and how we are lacking of them, our irresponsibility, and partial plans. All Chelsea and I had in defense was to stare at him long enough to make him uncomfortable, then play my favorite game!
“Ok, so Duck, duck, goose is the name of the game,” I began but was again interrupted. (Yes, it is horrible)
“Will either of you two stop thinking of games at a time like this?!” Danny the interrupter yelled.
“Calm down, actually don’t until we begin the game, for that is why I want you to play.” And of course this powerful speech of mine won them over and I began instructing them to sit in as much of a circle as they could manage and wait in the anxiousness the game was famous for.
“Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck…” And that’s when it happened, I was struck by the other thing the game was so famous for, indecision.
Then another thing hit. Danny pulled out a knife from a hidden pocket out of his jacket and screamed with violently expressive facials, “I just can’t take this!”
“NO DANNY DON’T!” Chelsea and I screamed in unison.
“I just can’t stand it anymore, the cops will get me and even if they don’t I’ll probably be haunted by Mr. Friedman…in drag!” He tried to choke back a sob, “and I won’t go to college and my parents will favor my sister over me, cause at least she’s not in jail!”
That’s when I just had to go for it, I leaped on Danny aiming my grasp for the knife…
…and the knife did hit danny, but it missed his heart and cut off his thumb.
The End
Emily
After leaving Danny in the E.R., drove to Mr. Friedman’s and cleaned out his bedroom closet taking all the dresses and feathered boas out of respect for the dead. (I mean who wants to go to a dead friend’s house and find out they were a transvestite?) Then graduated from highschool, college and won a Nobel Peace Prize for her theories on the words chess, checkers and the use of checkmate.
The Cop
After the whole ordeal got pretty deep into drugs, and became the next Pablo Escobar.
Chelsea
There is a trial pending for her guilt for involvement in the killing of a matchmaker which she claimed was ‘evil and mediocre’.
Mr. Friedman
Uhh…died. But did come back to life in a dream and said that some story called ‘Here is a Toaster’ was really good or something. Like what’s with that?
Danny
After surviving massive blood loss and being run to the E.R. went on to being validictorian except second, not first for he was in intensive therapy for a quarter because of an acute fear of toasters.
the end.
this is for the newspaper:
Never since I was having a love affair with pop at 10 years old, listening to Now 2 have I loved a compilation CD as much as I loved Buddyhead Presents: Gimme Skelter. It is full of rare tracks by some of the most bizarre and consequently some of the best bands. This is why this is now my new love (at least as far as albums go). My new love’s first song is Mudhoney’s Hard-On For War, a grimy buzzing laid back song that will remind you why you loved the alternative rock veteran so much in the first place or if they aren’t an old favorite of yours, they will make you love them. That’s what all the lovely alt. bands on the album will make you do actually. The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs will steal your heart with the surf rock reminiscent riffs and beats and the too cool for you attitude of Karen O. in Shot Down. Pleasure Forever takes you on a ride that only Radiohead could pull off if only Thom Yorke had could get down the sneery voice that Pleasure Forever’s Andrew Rothbard does get down in the choruses of King Cobra in The Guts Of Valhalla. The heart mugging and swooning doesn’t stop there. Especially not with the Burning Brides and Primal Scream around. Then you might as well stay on the ground or else you’ll get a concussion from falling for this album over and over for it isn’t even half way through yet, yes, there is still more to fall for! Including Dead Meadow’s sleepy Let’s Jump In, The Starvations’ surprisingly articulate short Last Night I Had a Nightmare We Got Married, Beehive & The Barracudas’ quirky and slightly awkward but still amazing Up in Flames, Your Enemies Friends’ adrenaline rush of a song Back of a Taxi, and Le Tigre’s power chord and humour driven Mediocrity Rules, just to name a few. But that’s still not it, for you cannot forget Radio Vago the most experimental band on the album, or Weezer the most recognizable on the obscurity filled compilation. But the love does wind down, and with one of my favorite bands the Icarus Line and their other worldly, bass heavy song Losing Touch With My Mind. But the fun doesn’t end there! After the songs and interlude interrupted body of the CD winds down you get a closing and two bonus tracks. And if you’re still not satisfied you can admire the artwork of the CD case. Or you can listen to the opening, introduction and interludes then come tell me about them for I skipped all, not wanting my love affair with the songs to be interrupted. And if you don’t get the hint of all the connotations of love then here it is plain and simple-I loved it.
the end.
Never since I was having a love affair with pop at 10 years old, listening to Now 2 have I loved a compilation CD as much as I loved Buddyhead Presents: Gimme Skelter. It is full of rare tracks by some of the most bizarre and consequently some of the best bands. This is why this is now my new love (at least as far as albums go). My new love’s first song is Mudhoney’s Hard-On For War, a grimy buzzing laid back song that will remind you why you loved the alternative rock veteran so much in the first place or if they aren’t an old favorite of yours, they will make you love them. That’s what all the lovely alt. bands on the album will make you do actually. The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs will steal your heart with the surf rock reminiscent riffs and beats and the too cool for you attitude of Karen O. in Shot Down. Pleasure Forever takes you on a ride that only Radiohead could pull off if only Thom Yorke had could get down the sneery voice that Pleasure Forever’s Andrew Rothbard does get down in the choruses of King Cobra in The Guts Of Valhalla. The heart mugging and swooning doesn’t stop there. Especially not with the Burning Brides and Primal Scream around. Then you might as well stay on the ground or else you’ll get a concussion from falling for this album over and over for it isn’t even half way through yet, yes, there is still more to fall for! Including Dead Meadow’s sleepy Let’s Jump In, The Starvations’ surprisingly articulate short Last Night I Had a Nightmare We Got Married, Beehive & The Barracudas’ quirky and slightly awkward but still amazing Up in Flames, Your Enemies Friends’ adrenaline rush of a song Back of a Taxi, and Le Tigre’s power chord and humour driven Mediocrity Rules, just to name a few. But that’s still not it, for you cannot forget Radio Vago the most experimental band on the album, or Weezer the most recognizable on the obscurity filled compilation. But the love does wind down, and with one of my favorite bands the Icarus Line and their other worldly, bass heavy song Losing Touch With My Mind. But the fun doesn’t end there! After the songs and interlude interrupted body of the CD winds down you get a closing and two bonus tracks. And if you’re still not satisfied you can admire the artwork of the CD case. Or you can listen to the opening, introduction and interludes then come tell me about them for I skipped all, not wanting my love affair with the songs to be interrupted. And if you don’t get the hint of all the connotations of love then here it is plain and simple-I loved it.
the end.
some people are so silly.
excuse me-my cat is sneezing-really! she is! i swear. whould i lie to you?!
the end.
yah. tred and my eyboard s fuced up. 'm eatng peeps though so lfe s good.
the end. fuc my computer. 'm tred of cuttng and pastng. 'll explan later...swear.
the end. fuc my computer. 'm tred of cuttng and pastng. 'll explan later...swear.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
y'know. i'm tired of talking about that party. it was pretty fucking awesome though. a guitar smashing, guitar burning, disney song blasting good time. sorry if you weren't there.
the end.
the end.
Monday, February 23, 2004
as you might already know i am currently under internet probation at home so these posts are short but that does not give anyone else the right to not write without excuse (caitlin) i get bored people! write on your blogs.
my stomach hurts like i don't want to eat but i know it really means i need to eat. that's one of my little drawings' dialogue and you would be much better at interpreting it if you could see it but you can't. for i have no scanner or way to post my own drawings for i am computer illiterate.
th end.
my stomach hurts like i don't want to eat but i know it really means i need to eat. that's one of my little drawings' dialogue and you would be much better at interpreting it if you could see it but you can't. for i have no scanner or way to post my own drawings for i am computer illiterate.
th end.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
dammit i think i'm sick again.
sick.
that reminds me, i haven't gone to the doctor for the mystery lump. lymphnoid? cancerous tumor? no one shall know. mwa. so fun. i shall stay ignorant, maybe. Every time i realize something horrible, when i see a spider out of the corner of my eye, i live in fear for a while and regret ever looking in that direction and seeing that fucking spider.
the end.
sick.
that reminds me, i haven't gone to the doctor for the mystery lump. lymphnoid? cancerous tumor? no one shall know. mwa. so fun. i shall stay ignorant, maybe. Every time i realize something horrible, when i see a spider out of the corner of my eye, i live in fear for a while and regret ever looking in that direction and seeing that fucking spider.
the end.
i'm so tired all of the sudden. this winter break is going to kill me. soon it'll be back to school and a bunch of bull. I'm so tired and so pissed that i can't get our (chelsi, jenna, me and i think caitlin and amy) show up until fall. the horrors of show biz. i really can't wait and we've been coming up with some really fabulous ideas for it. Among them we're gonna have a weekly fetish, weekly race, a barbie soap opera and so on. it shall be amazing. But i guess we can start setting up stuff like the barbie soap opera over the summer and start writing story lines etc. to hold off my cravings of being on air.
o did i not share with you the television show? well sorry, we are going to have a tv show on ctv. ctv being community television. Did i get your hopes up? sorry. i do that a lot, all i can say is get used to it. it snowed again yesterday-did i tell you that? well it did and it was quite horrible for i went to the madstone and i guess hmg couldn't make it to work. But i did see bubba ho-tep which i mentioned before hand. I had to decide between that and girl with a pearl earring. But the enticement of elvis living in a retirement trying to defeat a soulsucking mummy with a crazy black man who thought himself to be jfk just drew me in far more than the girl with a pearl earring.
i really want the gimme skelter cd. excuse me: Buddyhead presents: Gimme Skelter. It has the most wonderful of bands including the icarus line, and you know my love for the icarus line and it also has mudhoney and other good shit as well.
i guess i should write that music review about now. but i don' wanna. please excuse the whining but i'm still indesicive about what cd to review, here are some options...
ima robot: really good cd but not obscure as i'd really like. mwa i have to confuse all. and plus it's not on an indie label and that's a must. atleast i don't think they are.
pretty girls dig graves: another amazing cd but it's been reviewed like everywhere for it is so amazing.
taking back sunday, early november: too popular.
i don't remember there was another i was thinking of and it was just put on a commercial label...o yeah,yeah,yeahs. i was gonna talk about it being put on a more commercial label after living on indie labels and how it didn't do to well but i still liked it etc.
but anyways...i also want a more recent cd, but not many good ones have been put out recently (as in a month's time from now).
the end.
o did i not share with you the television show? well sorry, we are going to have a tv show on ctv. ctv being community television. Did i get your hopes up? sorry. i do that a lot, all i can say is get used to it. it snowed again yesterday-did i tell you that? well it did and it was quite horrible for i went to the madstone and i guess hmg couldn't make it to work. But i did see bubba ho-tep which i mentioned before hand. I had to decide between that and girl with a pearl earring. But the enticement of elvis living in a retirement trying to defeat a soulsucking mummy with a crazy black man who thought himself to be jfk just drew me in far more than the girl with a pearl earring.
i really want the gimme skelter cd. excuse me: Buddyhead presents: Gimme Skelter. It has the most wonderful of bands including the icarus line, and you know my love for the icarus line and it also has mudhoney and other good shit as well.
i guess i should write that music review about now. but i don' wanna. please excuse the whining but i'm still indesicive about what cd to review, here are some options...
ima robot: really good cd but not obscure as i'd really like. mwa i have to confuse all. and plus it's not on an indie label and that's a must. atleast i don't think they are.
pretty girls dig graves: another amazing cd but it's been reviewed like everywhere for it is so amazing.
taking back sunday, early november: too popular.
i don't remember there was another i was thinking of and it was just put on a commercial label...o yeah,yeah,yeahs. i was gonna talk about it being put on a more commercial label after living on indie labels and how it didn't do to well but i still liked it etc.
but anyways...i also want a more recent cd, but not many good ones have been put out recently (as in a month's time from now).
the end.
ok ok. i was being mean? anyways so he said "i found your coat in the hall, and this" this being a rose and your coat being my coat...which is good cos i would freak if i lost that coat cos it's one of my only existing ones. i don't remember what i said, maybe "thanks?" o well. than after brian mack inquired if the rose was from dick for it was taped and at lunch dick had that same rose, taping it up for someone broke it. which was a good thing to say for i just figured he really had just found it in the hall, like on the floor. Then in 8th period he displayed another flower, a carnation, holding it in his arms like a baby and proudly presented to me with, "because i appreciate you." My english teacher was there subbing, and i was hoping he was watching cos i'm pretty sure he thinks i have no friends other than my best of, chelsea, and i'm pretty sure that's why he talks to me, without yielding. But no, he was not. So as Dick and the rest of my usual 8th period "posse" ran to play basketball my english teacher walked up the bleachers as i compared him to the grim reeper walking towards me to bring me to my death in my head. He began talking about how it sucks there aren't any artsy schools in the distric for people like me and how maybe it's good that i go to school with a bunch of idiots so i can watch them or something...ok i wasn't really comprehending anything he said after that i was just staring at him seeing how long he'd go without me talking back. and i just realized how off the subject i am. anyways so after that all i just kind of avoided the whole talking to dick thing like the little pussy i am.
o that reminds me!
me and caitlin's statement
while avoiding dick, me and caitlin ventured into the back staircase and turned up the volume of my cd player (which was playing pretty girls dig graves) and tried to climb up the indented wall to just sit up there i guess. Soon caitlin gave up on the whole climbing while in a skirt thing and boosted me up instead. O the view was beautiful, i could see the whole staircase!!! anyways after all the melodrama we decided to put a pepsi bottle up there. but when i got up there caitlin had a fabulous idea, "we should put it on the painting!" well to understand this you must first know that our lovely private school decided to put works of art in all the stairwells to, i'm not sure why, to inspire us(?) Anyways so on this particular inspirational piece there was a shelf type piece of wood hanging off of it. So this is what caitlin was referring to...get it? ok. so, i climbed again and placed it on the shelf, but no it was not ready. the commercialism statement was enough. so caitlin and i searched through our purses for something to complete our statement. "A ROSARY!" caitlin exclaimed finally. Why she was carrying one around in a little baggie i do not know. but she got it out and i put it on the bottle, wrapped it around the pepsi like one of those fancy type scarf wrap things that people wear to night time swarres. pronounced swar-a. spelled, who knows. we were so proud looking at it from behind the bars of the rails on the staircase.
the end.
o that reminds me!
me and caitlin's statement
while avoiding dick, me and caitlin ventured into the back staircase and turned up the volume of my cd player (which was playing pretty girls dig graves) and tried to climb up the indented wall to just sit up there i guess. Soon caitlin gave up on the whole climbing while in a skirt thing and boosted me up instead. O the view was beautiful, i could see the whole staircase!!! anyways after all the melodrama we decided to put a pepsi bottle up there. but when i got up there caitlin had a fabulous idea, "we should put it on the painting!" well to understand this you must first know that our lovely private school decided to put works of art in all the stairwells to, i'm not sure why, to inspire us(?) Anyways so on this particular inspirational piece there was a shelf type piece of wood hanging off of it. So this is what caitlin was referring to...get it? ok. so, i climbed again and placed it on the shelf, but no it was not ready. the commercialism statement was enough. so caitlin and i searched through our purses for something to complete our statement. "A ROSARY!" caitlin exclaimed finally. Why she was carrying one around in a little baggie i do not know. but she got it out and i put it on the bottle, wrapped it around the pepsi like one of those fancy type scarf wrap things that people wear to night time swarres. pronounced swar-a. spelled, who knows. we were so proud looking at it from behind the bars of the rails on the staircase.
the end.
no it did not (work). i shall die if i can' t share my wonderful microsoft paint works of art with the world.
i am addicted to the L-word. Mwa. O so contraversal! I read an article about it in the New Yorker, and half way through i was just like, "fuck it, i shall watch it myself." and turned to showtime in demand and viewed it. I'm not sure why. Not sure why i like it. o well.
I have decided nothing on the college front. NYU would be a dream. But out of state costs etc. haunt me. I don't really want to stay home(as in my homestate.), but it would be easier and less costly. Brown might be cool as well...but out of state, obviously. I talked it all over with my parents and no answers.
mm...goldfish. huh. i haven't eaten yet. yeh...i don' t get hungry-i get cravings, i don't get full-i just don't. woo hoo. well. don't worry i'm not crying for i do not mind...i am not fat. just a bunch of irritating 'friends' whining about how 'fat' they are and not listening to me 'cos i'm skinny so i don't know shit.
well then...goldfish it is.
o and here is the story of dick and his flowers that i swore to tell.
uh. it's friday and as far as i could tell valentine's day was in the air, or atleast as much as it could be. I recieved cards from friends littering my day with happiness, "aaw! you actually thought of me." . I had already decided not to hold any hopes up for "romance" after all i hadn't really been close to any guys "that way"(don't worry i'll stop using quotations soon...i mean someday.) since branden. o but i forgot my unconditional admirer, dick. Dick had always been vocal on how hot he thought i was, but i don't know. I just figured that was it, lust? It might still be just that, but either way after my 6th period class making my way up the stairs, dick walked along my side with my coat and a rose.
sorry you shall have to be interrupted by this special report:
my wonderful kitty just pissed in the dining room, in front of me! my voice sounded like my mother's as i yelled "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST PISSED IN FRONT OF ME YOU STUPID BITCH!!" Cos i couldn't, really how stupid. i even nudged her. eew. cat piss makes my blood run hot. not cold cos it doesn't scare me it makes me very angry.
anyways back to the program...
o too bad the special report ran through the rest of the program. sucks to your assmar!
the end.
i am addicted to the L-word. Mwa. O so contraversal! I read an article about it in the New Yorker, and half way through i was just like, "fuck it, i shall watch it myself." and turned to showtime in demand and viewed it. I'm not sure why. Not sure why i like it. o well.
I have decided nothing on the college front. NYU would be a dream. But out of state costs etc. haunt me. I don't really want to stay home(as in my homestate.), but it would be easier and less costly. Brown might be cool as well...but out of state, obviously. I talked it all over with my parents and no answers.
mm...goldfish. huh. i haven't eaten yet. yeh...i don' t get hungry-i get cravings, i don't get full-i just don't. woo hoo. well. don't worry i'm not crying for i do not mind...i am not fat. just a bunch of irritating 'friends' whining about how 'fat' they are and not listening to me 'cos i'm skinny so i don't know shit.
well then...goldfish it is.
o and here is the story of dick and his flowers that i swore to tell.
uh. it's friday and as far as i could tell valentine's day was in the air, or atleast as much as it could be. I recieved cards from friends littering my day with happiness, "aaw! you actually thought of me." . I had already decided not to hold any hopes up for "romance" after all i hadn't really been close to any guys "that way"(don't worry i'll stop using quotations soon...i mean someday.) since branden. o but i forgot my unconditional admirer, dick. Dick had always been vocal on how hot he thought i was, but i don't know. I just figured that was it, lust? It might still be just that, but either way after my 6th period class making my way up the stairs, dick walked along my side with my coat and a rose.
sorry you shall have to be interrupted by this special report:
my wonderful kitty just pissed in the dining room, in front of me! my voice sounded like my mother's as i yelled "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST PISSED IN FRONT OF ME YOU STUPID BITCH!!" Cos i couldn't, really how stupid. i even nudged her. eew. cat piss makes my blood run hot. not cold cos it doesn't scare me it makes me very angry.
anyways back to the program...
o too bad the special report ran through the rest of the program. sucks to your assmar!
the end.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
this is such a good movie. i can not stress to you enough the importance of seeing this movie.
the end.
the end.
i finally watched bowling for columbine. one question God, "is there really any hope?" it all sucks. and what is our reaction to it all? blame. it's not my fault, it's uhh...marilyn manson's! yeah! down with marilyn manson!
i'm so sick of everyone. i'm so sick of ignorance. i'm so fucking sick of blame.
hey here's a fun fact: littleton, the hometown of columbine is also where the wonderful south park creators were raised, columbine was where they were schooled. huh, two very different reactions.
i'm currently still watching the movie. i just understood the movie title. this is awesome. you've got to watch it.
another recommendation: bowling for columbine
no other way to say it.
the end.
p.s. it's now on showtime alot, showtime 2 at 9.
i'm so sick of everyone. i'm so sick of ignorance. i'm so fucking sick of blame.
hey here's a fun fact: littleton, the hometown of columbine is also where the wonderful south park creators were raised, columbine was where they were schooled. huh, two very different reactions.
i'm currently still watching the movie. i just understood the movie title. this is awesome. you've got to watch it.
another recommendation: bowling for columbine
no other way to say it.
the end.
p.s. it's now on showtime alot, showtime 2 at 9.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
i sooo wrote! fuck this. i wrote and it was won-der-ful. i swear. it snows too much. i really don't like it. i don't know. i've been really moody lately, not pms moody but borderline moody. like a night ago i was wrapped up in my orange blankie heading to bed and i don't even know what but i just started crying in the hall breaking down dropping my magazines and calling attention to my parents. i couldn't get anything out; i felt muted by all the tears. then while my parents interrogated me i tried my best to make way to my bed and fell into it and listened to their hurried worried ranging comments. i slumped under the covers and felt like a metopausal woman for i got so hot so quick. i tried desperately to be patient while my parents looked in still spouting guesses including that i may be sick. but i do lack this virtue which is patience and stripped under the covers trying to cool down and hopefully prepare for a good sleep. later they let me be also hoping for a good sleep(for me.).
then today i freaked out again and walked like the undead except my hands were at my sides, up to my bathroom and opened the window and peered into the snow recalling every suicidal story, thought, song i'd every experienced, heard, thought. But for i also have rationalized my life every time i'm on the edge of each thought, song, story. so i just kneeled on the toilet in defeat. in defeat of what, i can only guess.
but good things have happened as well. on friday i went over to chelsea's and jenna accompanied. we played with dolls after being defeated by the horrors of bad tv and movies. then watched the fan slow down (it's crazy the entertainment you can get out of it.) and played a revised version of king of the rock on chelsea's big pink foam chair.
on saturday (also known as v-day) i babysat after recieving my parental valentines. and this was good cos i got money, for i am broke and owe caitlin 13 dollars.
on sunday i am pretty sure i did nothing...
on monday i went shopping with my mama.
on tuesday i went to the movies and saw Bubba Ho-Tep. i do recommend it if your local theatre ever captures the film...for it is quite rare. i am sorry if they don't. or if you're too lazy to go.
o and if you're really inquiring how valentines went for me i got lots of good cards and treats from my closest of friends and a rose & carnation from dick. woohoo. yep. don't feel like speaking of it. maybe i'll tell ya'll later. maybe i'll swear to it. ok. i swear.
the end.
then today i freaked out again and walked like the undead except my hands were at my sides, up to my bathroom and opened the window and peered into the snow recalling every suicidal story, thought, song i'd every experienced, heard, thought. But for i also have rationalized my life every time i'm on the edge of each thought, song, story. so i just kneeled on the toilet in defeat. in defeat of what, i can only guess.
but good things have happened as well. on friday i went over to chelsea's and jenna accompanied. we played with dolls after being defeated by the horrors of bad tv and movies. then watched the fan slow down (it's crazy the entertainment you can get out of it.) and played a revised version of king of the rock on chelsea's big pink foam chair.
on saturday (also known as v-day) i babysat after recieving my parental valentines. and this was good cos i got money, for i am broke and owe caitlin 13 dollars.
on sunday i am pretty sure i did nothing...
on monday i went shopping with my mama.
on tuesday i went to the movies and saw Bubba Ho-Tep. i do recommend it if your local theatre ever captures the film...for it is quite rare. i am sorry if they don't. or if you're too lazy to go.
o and if you're really inquiring how valentines went for me i got lots of good cards and treats from my closest of friends and a rose & carnation from dick. woohoo. yep. don't feel like speaking of it. maybe i'll tell ya'll later. maybe i'll swear to it. ok. i swear.
the end.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
writer's block sucks REALly bad. it doooooes. yes it doeooooes. especially when you have a essay due! an essay for you not reallyyyyyy. it's for my teacheeeeeeeeer! yes it IS, i swear to you kid. it's for the teacher it's for the teacher. but this kiss is for you. (cheesy guitar solo.) that was to the tune of any corny hair band ballad of the eighties.
yah i have writer's block and umm...that song pretty much sums it up.
the end.
yah i have writer's block and umm...that song pretty much sums it up.
the end.
i just realized that i didn't use my english teacher's suggestions of spelling of course write or using proper comma grammar. and it is about pretty much the same thing as my journal entry was about. sorry. no. sorry for lying like i was sorry.
the end.
the end.
here is the watch, you may have heard of this essay in a past post. past post. pastpostpastpost!PAST! POST! past post!that last part was to the tune of the cheat theme song.
T h e W a t c h
Sitting, well actually standing, in Target deciding whether I wanted blue or black was the beginning of my watch. It was the Saturday before a weeklong camping trip to the Carolina Beach and I was collecting supplies at Target for the excursion. Finding little tiny shampoos and deodorants, a flashlight and batteries for my 10-year old CD player. The watch wasn’t really on my original list but I was distracted from my shopping list by a section of kids’ watches. They were so colorful and so cheap, so I was lured in. Then I found two very similar Timex watches, one black one blue.
I stood there for some odd minutes before I decided to use my secret weapon against the indecision of the watches, “Eenie meenie minie moe,” I started muttering to myself switching my finger from one watch to the other. “…to pick the very best one and you are it!” My finger had picked the blue one, but of coarse my heart went out to the black one and I picked it instead. I brought it to the checkout with my mother, who I convinced that this watch was an essential, and she bought it.
In the car I recklessly tore open the plastic wrap on the box and flung (yes I literally “flung” it open) the box top open. I admired every detail of my $13.00 target watch, the lightning bolt second hand that went around the face, the lime green numbers against the black background. I loved it down to the blue and green lightning bolts on the stretchy band, and I admired the fact that the watch was made in china and the band in Taiwan (two separate places!). Afterwards my mama and I went “antiquing” an otherwise torturous event, but I had my watch to show off to all the checkout people and to my twin in the mirror, and that of coarse got me through.
That night I went to bed like every other night, but tonight I also put my watch to bed, but then while getting to sleep was distracted from my watch by the memory of what is coming Monday, the camping trip. Soon it was Monday.
I packed all my supplies and headed off to Kiwanis where we were all meeting, me, 11 guys and 1 other girl. I immediately started talking about the highlight of the weekend, buying my watch. I was wearing it also, so it was right at hand to show off.
For the first couple days I forgot about the watch so much was happening. We went crabbing, and went downtown, ate lots of ice cream and went to the beach numerous times. But soon I would remember my waterproof Timex watch for it would become a very important part of a very intricate plan.
To understand this plan first you must know that we were at a camp that took us to the beach, and we were under the rule of cruel rulers with the names Chris, Jerri (a female Jerri) and Kathleen. Well actually they were very nice people but that’s just missing the point. The point was and still is that we are all teenagers who just don’t like authority. Emphasis on the teenagers aspect. So on the last night there the guys of the camp approached me with a plan, to escape the camp. They also needed a watch. Guess who’s? Mine! Good job. Anyways, the watch was needed so that Geoff (pronounced Jeff but you’ve got to agree with me that G-off is so much cooler! So here’s another question for you: how did I pronounce Geoff’s name? G-off! Most definitely.) could cough like he was a dramatic asthma victim at exactly 11:45 to signal whoever dared to escape to meet outside of Nathan and Taca’s tent. If you emphasized the teenagers part in your head like I told you to you too would realize that we hit a few bumps in the road with this plan. For one thing lovely Geoff (G-off!) coughed while one of the “evil rulers” were in his tent. So my sidekick and I (the other girl, named Katy) waited 5 minutes until we left to meet. Than we got out and we saw two shapes which thankfully appeared to be two of our fellow criminals. The rest of the night is top secret though. But trust me it was all worth it, and we didn’t get caught.
I’ve had many less-memorable memories happen since the “Escape”. Such as many looks at the watch during long days working as a C.I.T (Counselor in Training) and at less than exciting company picnics. Even here at school, even though I still don’t know the class schedule yet so it’s more of a habit than anything.
I still have my black watch and I wear it every day. That special watch made in two places just for me, my target watch, my waterproof until under 20 meters of water watch. Yes, my watch is still on my wrist to wait out long boring classes like that horrible English class (o, of coarse I’m kidding…). What would I do with out it? Drive to Target get lured into the kids watch section and get the blue one.
T h e W a t c h
Sitting, well actually standing, in Target deciding whether I wanted blue or black was the beginning of my watch. It was the Saturday before a weeklong camping trip to the Carolina Beach and I was collecting supplies at Target for the excursion. Finding little tiny shampoos and deodorants, a flashlight and batteries for my 10-year old CD player. The watch wasn’t really on my original list but I was distracted from my shopping list by a section of kids’ watches. They were so colorful and so cheap, so I was lured in. Then I found two very similar Timex watches, one black one blue.
I stood there for some odd minutes before I decided to use my secret weapon against the indecision of the watches, “Eenie meenie minie moe,” I started muttering to myself switching my finger from one watch to the other. “…to pick the very best one and you are it!” My finger had picked the blue one, but of coarse my heart went out to the black one and I picked it instead. I brought it to the checkout with my mother, who I convinced that this watch was an essential, and she bought it.
In the car I recklessly tore open the plastic wrap on the box and flung (yes I literally “flung” it open) the box top open. I admired every detail of my $13.00 target watch, the lightning bolt second hand that went around the face, the lime green numbers against the black background. I loved it down to the blue and green lightning bolts on the stretchy band, and I admired the fact that the watch was made in china and the band in Taiwan (two separate places!). Afterwards my mama and I went “antiquing” an otherwise torturous event, but I had my watch to show off to all the checkout people and to my twin in the mirror, and that of coarse got me through.
That night I went to bed like every other night, but tonight I also put my watch to bed, but then while getting to sleep was distracted from my watch by the memory of what is coming Monday, the camping trip. Soon it was Monday.
I packed all my supplies and headed off to Kiwanis where we were all meeting, me, 11 guys and 1 other girl. I immediately started talking about the highlight of the weekend, buying my watch. I was wearing it also, so it was right at hand to show off.
For the first couple days I forgot about the watch so much was happening. We went crabbing, and went downtown, ate lots of ice cream and went to the beach numerous times. But soon I would remember my waterproof Timex watch for it would become a very important part of a very intricate plan.
To understand this plan first you must know that we were at a camp that took us to the beach, and we were under the rule of cruel rulers with the names Chris, Jerri (a female Jerri) and Kathleen. Well actually they were very nice people but that’s just missing the point. The point was and still is that we are all teenagers who just don’t like authority. Emphasis on the teenagers aspect. So on the last night there the guys of the camp approached me with a plan, to escape the camp. They also needed a watch. Guess who’s? Mine! Good job. Anyways, the watch was needed so that Geoff (pronounced Jeff but you’ve got to agree with me that G-off is so much cooler! So here’s another question for you: how did I pronounce Geoff’s name? G-off! Most definitely.) could cough like he was a dramatic asthma victim at exactly 11:45 to signal whoever dared to escape to meet outside of Nathan and Taca’s tent. If you emphasized the teenagers part in your head like I told you to you too would realize that we hit a few bumps in the road with this plan. For one thing lovely Geoff (G-off!) coughed while one of the “evil rulers” were in his tent. So my sidekick and I (the other girl, named Katy) waited 5 minutes until we left to meet. Than we got out and we saw two shapes which thankfully appeared to be two of our fellow criminals. The rest of the night is top secret though. But trust me it was all worth it, and we didn’t get caught.
I’ve had many less-memorable memories happen since the “Escape”. Such as many looks at the watch during long days working as a C.I.T (Counselor in Training) and at less than exciting company picnics. Even here at school, even though I still don’t know the class schedule yet so it’s more of a habit than anything.
I still have my black watch and I wear it every day. That special watch made in two places just for me, my target watch, my waterproof until under 20 meters of water watch. Yes, my watch is still on my wrist to wait out long boring classes like that horrible English class (o, of coarse I’m kidding…). What would I do with out it? Drive to Target get lured into the kids watch section and get the blue one.
Monday, February 02, 2004
This is something from last summer.
Journal entry 1.
Hey sorry forgot to write…naw shit em…neways cool two weeks at SURVIVOR CAMP…heh heh. Uhhhh neways. Yeh the first week it was all the same shit counselors and EVRTHING!! Aah! Crazy shiznit! But different “kids” so that was cool. Like half the camp rode together and went to rayfields except two, one (geoff-spelled wired cuz it’s short for geoffrey or atleast that’s what I figured.) who went to TFS!!woohoo!chelsi sed she never heard of him but he’s a year younger neways so w/e. and the other was-is gonna be a junior at CGHS!!(christian…yeh. He’s cool play geetar and lissens to lots of nirvana and bluegrass from what I interpreted from his convos with Chris the stoned sounding counselor-but he’s a nice guy. Neways yeh) So yeh then the other half consisted of interesting specimens such as….
Katey:the only other girl she has a very tiny forehead which makes her look like she’s a wig wearer…she’s dramatic.
Taca!!:he’s japanese and always wears khakis and this coat of his that he hides things in the sleeves of. He also jumps really cool and laughs like he means it. And only when he means it. I <3 taca!
Nathan:heheheheh.nathan. funny character quite feminine and slightly unpredictable. Chubby and a bad card player but still enjoyable.
Zach: self acclaimed hell raiser but did add a fun dimension to the group dynamics. Rode the bus with him last year…totally a badass wannabe.
Kathleen&Chris:director and codirector – basically counselors.
Jerri-the supervisor-she was the director at rock-climbing adventure camp last summer.
SECOND WEEK OF CAMP…
So here’s where it gits interesting…
MONDAY…
Vanride up is ok a bit crusty-smelling and cramped like hell but I enjoyed the “guy talk” me and katey participated in with jarrod and christian. And the fight over the Ad for deoderant was entertaining also, of coarse. (the ad consisted of a naked woman in a bed of flower petals-nothing naughty really showing but what can I say except – hOrMoNeS.)we stopped at bojangles-katey’s first time! And ate, I dropped my soda on my trip to the table but miraculously nothing leaked-so 5 stars goes to bojangles’ drink tops! When we finally got there we had to lug all our shit up to the campsight that was supposedly only 200 yards from the van(the trip got shorter the less weight we carried for some mysterious reason.) I also found I forgot my water bottle.(And ended up with 7 by the end of the trip./)I was hot sweaty and tired the rest of the day and glad…that it was over.we wwere split into all these groups –challenge and cooking and that was about it…o yeh-our cooking group was the bomb diggy-est!-the best!-est! So mad props to my group members JORDAN, JOEY, CHRISTIAN AND MEMEMEMEME!!
TUESDAY!!
The battleship was today and charlie the endangered alligator! O what fun. Squirting water at charlie(the alligator) and almost going to jail for it or atleast gitting yelled at by an old guy. And scaring katey while taking the tour. A good tour for we had no weakass tour guide yes! Closest we got to independence so far.Anyways then we went to KOHL’s which is not the clothing store but the icecream place and a very good one(who knew?) me and katey wasted about 2 bucks at the 25cent machine(my favorite guilty pleasure) and ended up giving half of our prizes to the guys. They were these football helmet magnets that u got to assemble all by yourself!only I stole the sticker part and the magnet part so they just these helmet shaped pieces of plastic that they still seemed to enjoy.hehheh. I also gave them my bouncy balls(becuz with 25 cent machines being a guilty pleasure I have already a vast collection of them scattered around the house.) and zach “accidently” hit an old guy up the ass with one and refused to touch it again.
WEDNSDAY…
We went CRABBING!! So v. fun … actually boring but we got to git candy at the marina while we were there(we actually visited the marina numerous times a day for soft drinks and junk food and also the visitor’s center in the morning to wash up and do our business becuz we all had a severe phobia of the outhouse on our campsite which led me to believe I was jipped out of my o so wanted survivor experience.)we also got to boil the crabs we caught which turned out to be 2 but don’t worry there were crab traps so yeh.. they were so yummy too!!nuthing on them just tear them apart,clean them out and dig in!yumyumyum.(the crabs not the traps.)
The night.
We went to downtown wilmington and just bummed around after our nightly visit to the marina while Chriskathleen&jerri tried desperately to find a good caffinated cup o’ coffee. They did so succesfully in a coffee and ice cream shop where me and katey decidded to be “wild” and git a strawberry AND blueberry mixture fruit smoothie…it tasted like crap…beside the fact I never favored smoothies in the first place. Anyways yeh. O yeh and to add to our wildness we wore our pajamas out.
THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(THE BEST DAY&NiGHT!)
okay… it all started ok…we went to the beach(second time but didn’t mention the first-wasn’t a worthy trip-in other words kinda boring besides pretending to be retards cuz evry one was staring at us likewise because of our life jacket wearing ways.)We were all swimming in our lifejackets in the ocean when iT HAPPENED! I got stung by a jelly fish! Duh duh duh! On my inner thigh thing . I didn’t really care until it got just so damn irritating I just caved in and talked to jerri she brought me to the life guard they sed it looked bad, and put sum jelly fish crap on it and on sum bug bites. I wasn’t supposed to git wet for hours but I did when playing a careful game of jump the wave…(the only thing we could think of to do in the water that didn’t require gitting in OR wearing those dorky ass life jackets.
AFTER THE BEACH…
We go back git our shower and dinner shiz and SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg it was gr8 except there were no curtains so our modesty forced us to shower in our bathing suits.hrumph.
Then while looking o so hott we go out for dinner where I had the best salisbury steak in a while most of the boys were eating off the starters or childrens menus because of poor budget managing. Ha ha. I also stole zach’s hat…heheh. He’s so slo. Yepyep yep. Then we walked around and sed hi to random ppl or atleast I did and then told ppl they were my ex-wives and shit. It was lovely then we were sitting on the dock thing and christian and joey sat down on sum benches and the boards were coming off so me and katey discovered u could take apart the whole bench easily so all the guys(well most of them) and us sat on and around this one bench and o so slyly took apart the bench by un-screwing the screws and taking apart the bolts…even tho I kno chris knew what we were doing cuz he laffed when I sed we were tightening the screws. In the end there was only one bolt left…we celebrated with packets of sugar christian stole from the restaurant we all downed one – christian downed about 5. It was hilarious the way we were crowded around tian like he was our group’s favorite personal dealer. It was gr8 especially when evry 1 was hyper then after.
NIGHT
The rest of the night down town was more waving and seying hey to strangers…then we went home…..to camp.
I was leading jordan to his tent when all the guys starting asking me if I was in on the plan. I was just wtf is the plan and then all they sed is-“we’re gonna escape.” And ofcoarse-“Are you in?” I was just like dur dude!ofcoarse!but I never heard the whole plan till later in the night when jarred told me to come talk to the guys during the campfire time. So the plan was at 11:55 geoff was supposed to sneeze loud then we all had to meet at taca’s tent for it was farther away from the counselors then the original meeting place. then we would just walk around and do shit then come back and sleep. So I was like cool and we all talked about our coverups and I told them katey was cool too and and then we all randomly went back to the fire. Soon it was time to go to bed and in the tent I told katey the plan and she was in mainly so ppl wouldn’t see her as a wuss. So we talked and waited…I still didn’t have my watch cuz now geoff had it to see when 11:55 was so all we could to was lissen. Later when the counselors were still out he sneezed. First we were gonna wait till we saw sumone git out then I just gave upand went for it-so me and katey got out and waited by our tent (which was close to taca and nathan’s tent anyways so yeh) then we saw sumone coming toward us and we were so relieved to see christian standing in front of us instead of chris.
“They aren’t coming” was all he said.
“what do you mean?” I whispered back.
“jarred’s asleep and joey sed so is zach.”
“So is joey coming?”
“I don’t know.”
Then he left and we watited………………….and he came back and so did joey and mason.
“Where are we going,what are we gonna do?” I asked since it was the only thing on my mind.
“Idunno let’s just walk.”
So we all walked out of the campsite and into the parking lot and out onto the road.then mason wanted to go back so I gave him my flash light and let him. We walked to the marina and soon relized we forgot a lot of things like another flashlight and money…just in case. Soon again we were at the marina’s lights and relized another thing ppl were there. So instead of walking through the ppl we walked to the fishing dock and jumped over the rail of it and onto the “beach” and we were bored we walked and talked about what we could do. Then I had it-
“Let’s go out of the park”
Awesome idea was the main thought among us and we climbed back up the dock except katey who didn’t jump it either but walked around it. And we walked again and while walking we saw headlights and instinctively ran into the woods and into some thorns, ofcoarse. We thought we were safe but then the headlights came around again and then we heard a voice.
“Why’d y’all run into the woods when I came by?”
“Idunno.” I spoke up-I figured it was better than ignoring her and having her maybe even getting out of the car. ”It’s fun maybe you should try it sumtime!” O god when will my mouth ever be put on the leash?
“Smartass huh?”
“No ma’am sorry” Good start emily keep on going. “Sorry, it’s nice of you to worry, but we’re okay.” Yeah okay. (yes I was actually trying kiss her ass…and yes that’s the best I could do…now you know why I don’t do it more often.)
“Well, ya’ll be careful.”
“okay.”
And she drove off. And we got out. And immediately wondered outloud why we didn’t use our before genius plan of pretending christian was our counselor.
we walked to the Visitors center got water and walked more. Then we hit the entrance and limboed (serioudly we limboed! Another one of my brilliant ideas…I think.) under the gate in our glory.
We then walked in the direction of the CVS pharmacy where we had been earlier in the week. It was closed but I didn’t mind for I was immediately distracted by the shopping carts. I played with them happily and wheeled joey around too. I tried my hardest to git him and christian into a curb but they ofcoarse jumped out just in time. Katey sat on the cvs sidewalk and watched, still weighed down by her conscience-don’t worry she was corrupted by the end of the night. HEY, it’s my specialty!
Not too much later we grew tired of the shopping carts and kept on walking. Soon joey announce that the beach was down here. So we were now walking in hope of the beach and sum skinny dipping. (atleast christian was, or atleast christian was pretending to be.) Then we got tired so we sat on the faux porch of a store and talked our strategy over. And we decided to walk to the gas station ahead and if we didn’t hear or see the beach we’d go back so we were walking again. But we never made it to our strategized location. For we got stopped by a cop.
“How old are y’all?” The cop asked/yelled
“HUH?” Christian asked back/yelled.
So the cop drove up…
And asked again. And Christian then answered “15” even tho we were advising him to sey 18…(he could have pulled it off.)Then the cop asked us where we were going and we replied as nonchalantly (5th grade vocab word thankyou!) as possible,”McDonalds”(don’t ask me why christian sed mcdonalds, maybe gas stations are too suspicious?)
“Are your parents there?”
“No” he later said there was no way in hell he was lyin’ to a cop.(what about the mc donald’s remark you may ask, I do not know…men.
“Then y’all need to go home-to your parents, there’s a midnight curfew around here, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks.”
We were thankful he didn’t follow us because we had a long way to walk, and it wasn’t to parents.
As we neared the park and site we were starting to think maybe we wouldn’t get caught after the whole time thinking and having the main subject of talk being “we’re gonna get caught so why not?”. Our hopes were shattered though, when we reached the trail leading to camp and saw a flash light on at the site…but then soon we relized it was only nathan who had the light on when we left too. We made it! And after silent cheers we dispersed and got into our tents. Quietly.
friday.
That day was filled with “Almost gitting caught.” From Jerri’s convo with the sheriff at the visitor’s center(which turned out to be about being accused of sum water balloon fiasco in some bathroom.) to Nathan asking me if I was outside his tent asking-“Where are we going, what are we doing?” In front of the counselors so me and katey made up this whole tale of how I was playing chess in my dreams and asking katey where I should go next. Later in the van I told him the truth. We stopped at gas stations and wendy’s and slept in the van and melted gummi bears with zach’s lighter but other than that nothing much happened. We got to kiwanis early and called our parents…yeh. I know those counselors knew what we did or else they would of busted us…..Yes. Life. Is. Good.
BYEROONi!
~e.
the end.
Journal entry 1.
Hey sorry forgot to write…naw shit em…neways cool two weeks at SURVIVOR CAMP…heh heh. Uhhhh neways. Yeh the first week it was all the same shit counselors and EVRTHING!! Aah! Crazy shiznit! But different “kids” so that was cool. Like half the camp rode together and went to rayfields except two, one (geoff-spelled wired cuz it’s short for geoffrey or atleast that’s what I figured.) who went to TFS!!woohoo!chelsi sed she never heard of him but he’s a year younger neways so w/e. and the other was-is gonna be a junior at CGHS!!(christian…yeh. He’s cool play geetar and lissens to lots of nirvana and bluegrass from what I interpreted from his convos with Chris the stoned sounding counselor-but he’s a nice guy. Neways yeh) So yeh then the other half consisted of interesting specimens such as….
Katey:the only other girl she has a very tiny forehead which makes her look like she’s a wig wearer…she’s dramatic.
Taca!!:he’s japanese and always wears khakis and this coat of his that he hides things in the sleeves of. He also jumps really cool and laughs like he means it. And only when he means it. I <3 taca!
Nathan:heheheheh.nathan. funny character quite feminine and slightly unpredictable. Chubby and a bad card player but still enjoyable.
Zach: self acclaimed hell raiser but did add a fun dimension to the group dynamics. Rode the bus with him last year…totally a badass wannabe.
Kathleen&Chris:director and codirector – basically counselors.
Jerri-the supervisor-she was the director at rock-climbing adventure camp last summer.
SECOND WEEK OF CAMP…
So here’s where it gits interesting…
MONDAY…
Vanride up is ok a bit crusty-smelling and cramped like hell but I enjoyed the “guy talk” me and katey participated in with jarrod and christian. And the fight over the Ad for deoderant was entertaining also, of coarse. (the ad consisted of a naked woman in a bed of flower petals-nothing naughty really showing but what can I say except – hOrMoNeS.)we stopped at bojangles-katey’s first time! And ate, I dropped my soda on my trip to the table but miraculously nothing leaked-so 5 stars goes to bojangles’ drink tops! When we finally got there we had to lug all our shit up to the campsight that was supposedly only 200 yards from the van(the trip got shorter the less weight we carried for some mysterious reason.) I also found I forgot my water bottle.(And ended up with 7 by the end of the trip./)I was hot sweaty and tired the rest of the day and glad…that it was over.we wwere split into all these groups –challenge and cooking and that was about it…o yeh-our cooking group was the bomb diggy-est!-the best!-est! So mad props to my group members JORDAN, JOEY, CHRISTIAN AND MEMEMEMEME!!
TUESDAY!!
The battleship was today and charlie the endangered alligator! O what fun. Squirting water at charlie(the alligator) and almost going to jail for it or atleast gitting yelled at by an old guy. And scaring katey while taking the tour. A good tour for we had no weakass tour guide yes! Closest we got to independence so far.Anyways then we went to KOHL’s which is not the clothing store but the icecream place and a very good one(who knew?) me and katey wasted about 2 bucks at the 25cent machine(my favorite guilty pleasure) and ended up giving half of our prizes to the guys. They were these football helmet magnets that u got to assemble all by yourself!only I stole the sticker part and the magnet part so they just these helmet shaped pieces of plastic that they still seemed to enjoy.hehheh. I also gave them my bouncy balls(becuz with 25 cent machines being a guilty pleasure I have already a vast collection of them scattered around the house.) and zach “accidently” hit an old guy up the ass with one and refused to touch it again.
WEDNSDAY…
We went CRABBING!! So v. fun … actually boring but we got to git candy at the marina while we were there(we actually visited the marina numerous times a day for soft drinks and junk food and also the visitor’s center in the morning to wash up and do our business becuz we all had a severe phobia of the outhouse on our campsite which led me to believe I was jipped out of my o so wanted survivor experience.)we also got to boil the crabs we caught which turned out to be 2 but don’t worry there were crab traps so yeh.. they were so yummy too!!nuthing on them just tear them apart,clean them out and dig in!yumyumyum.(the crabs not the traps.)
The night.
We went to downtown wilmington and just bummed around after our nightly visit to the marina while Chriskathleen&jerri tried desperately to find a good caffinated cup o’ coffee. They did so succesfully in a coffee and ice cream shop where me and katey decidded to be “wild” and git a strawberry AND blueberry mixture fruit smoothie…it tasted like crap…beside the fact I never favored smoothies in the first place. Anyways yeh. O yeh and to add to our wildness we wore our pajamas out.
THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(THE BEST DAY&NiGHT!)
okay… it all started ok…we went to the beach(second time but didn’t mention the first-wasn’t a worthy trip-in other words kinda boring besides pretending to be retards cuz evry one was staring at us likewise because of our life jacket wearing ways.)We were all swimming in our lifejackets in the ocean when iT HAPPENED! I got stung by a jelly fish! Duh duh duh! On my inner thigh thing . I didn’t really care until it got just so damn irritating I just caved in and talked to jerri she brought me to the life guard they sed it looked bad, and put sum jelly fish crap on it and on sum bug bites. I wasn’t supposed to git wet for hours but I did when playing a careful game of jump the wave…(the only thing we could think of to do in the water that didn’t require gitting in OR wearing those dorky ass life jackets.
AFTER THE BEACH…
We go back git our shower and dinner shiz and SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg it was gr8 except there were no curtains so our modesty forced us to shower in our bathing suits.hrumph.
Then while looking o so hott we go out for dinner where I had the best salisbury steak in a while most of the boys were eating off the starters or childrens menus because of poor budget managing. Ha ha. I also stole zach’s hat…heheh. He’s so slo. Yepyep yep. Then we walked around and sed hi to random ppl or atleast I did and then told ppl they were my ex-wives and shit. It was lovely then we were sitting on the dock thing and christian and joey sat down on sum benches and the boards were coming off so me and katey discovered u could take apart the whole bench easily so all the guys(well most of them) and us sat on and around this one bench and o so slyly took apart the bench by un-screwing the screws and taking apart the bolts…even tho I kno chris knew what we were doing cuz he laffed when I sed we were tightening the screws. In the end there was only one bolt left…we celebrated with packets of sugar christian stole from the restaurant we all downed one – christian downed about 5. It was hilarious the way we were crowded around tian like he was our group’s favorite personal dealer. It was gr8 especially when evry 1 was hyper then after.
NIGHT
The rest of the night down town was more waving and seying hey to strangers…then we went home…..to camp.
I was leading jordan to his tent when all the guys starting asking me if I was in on the plan. I was just wtf is the plan and then all they sed is-“we’re gonna escape.” And ofcoarse-“Are you in?” I was just like dur dude!ofcoarse!but I never heard the whole plan till later in the night when jarred told me to come talk to the guys during the campfire time. So the plan was at 11:55 geoff was supposed to sneeze loud then we all had to meet at taca’s tent for it was farther away from the counselors then the original meeting place. then we would just walk around and do shit then come back and sleep. So I was like cool and we all talked about our coverups and I told them katey was cool too and and then we all randomly went back to the fire. Soon it was time to go to bed and in the tent I told katey the plan and she was in mainly so ppl wouldn’t see her as a wuss. So we talked and waited…I still didn’t have my watch cuz now geoff had it to see when 11:55 was so all we could to was lissen. Later when the counselors were still out he sneezed. First we were gonna wait till we saw sumone git out then I just gave upand went for it-so me and katey got out and waited by our tent (which was close to taca and nathan’s tent anyways so yeh) then we saw sumone coming toward us and we were so relieved to see christian standing in front of us instead of chris.
“They aren’t coming” was all he said.
“what do you mean?” I whispered back.
“jarred’s asleep and joey sed so is zach.”
“So is joey coming?”
“I don’t know.”
Then he left and we watited………………….and he came back and so did joey and mason.
“Where are we going,what are we gonna do?” I asked since it was the only thing on my mind.
“Idunno let’s just walk.”
So we all walked out of the campsite and into the parking lot and out onto the road.then mason wanted to go back so I gave him my flash light and let him. We walked to the marina and soon relized we forgot a lot of things like another flashlight and money…just in case. Soon again we were at the marina’s lights and relized another thing ppl were there. So instead of walking through the ppl we walked to the fishing dock and jumped over the rail of it and onto the “beach” and we were bored we walked and talked about what we could do. Then I had it-
“Let’s go out of the park”
Awesome idea was the main thought among us and we climbed back up the dock except katey who didn’t jump it either but walked around it. And we walked again and while walking we saw headlights and instinctively ran into the woods and into some thorns, ofcoarse. We thought we were safe but then the headlights came around again and then we heard a voice.
“Why’d y’all run into the woods when I came by?”
“Idunno.” I spoke up-I figured it was better than ignoring her and having her maybe even getting out of the car. ”It’s fun maybe you should try it sumtime!” O god when will my mouth ever be put on the leash?
“Smartass huh?”
“No ma’am sorry” Good start emily keep on going. “Sorry, it’s nice of you to worry, but we’re okay.” Yeah okay. (yes I was actually trying kiss her ass…and yes that’s the best I could do…now you know why I don’t do it more often.)
“Well, ya’ll be careful.”
“okay.”
And she drove off. And we got out. And immediately wondered outloud why we didn’t use our before genius plan of pretending christian was our counselor.
we walked to the Visitors center got water and walked more. Then we hit the entrance and limboed (serioudly we limboed! Another one of my brilliant ideas…I think.) under the gate in our glory.
We then walked in the direction of the CVS pharmacy where we had been earlier in the week. It was closed but I didn’t mind for I was immediately distracted by the shopping carts. I played with them happily and wheeled joey around too. I tried my hardest to git him and christian into a curb but they ofcoarse jumped out just in time. Katey sat on the cvs sidewalk and watched, still weighed down by her conscience-don’t worry she was corrupted by the end of the night. HEY, it’s my specialty!
Not too much later we grew tired of the shopping carts and kept on walking. Soon joey announce that the beach was down here. So we were now walking in hope of the beach and sum skinny dipping. (atleast christian was, or atleast christian was pretending to be.) Then we got tired so we sat on the faux porch of a store and talked our strategy over. And we decided to walk to the gas station ahead and if we didn’t hear or see the beach we’d go back so we were walking again. But we never made it to our strategized location. For we got stopped by a cop.
“How old are y’all?” The cop asked/yelled
“HUH?” Christian asked back/yelled.
So the cop drove up…
And asked again. And Christian then answered “15” even tho we were advising him to sey 18…(he could have pulled it off.)Then the cop asked us where we were going and we replied as nonchalantly (5th grade vocab word thankyou!) as possible,”McDonalds”(don’t ask me why christian sed mcdonalds, maybe gas stations are too suspicious?)
“Are your parents there?”
“No” he later said there was no way in hell he was lyin’ to a cop.(what about the mc donald’s remark you may ask, I do not know…men.
“Then y’all need to go home-to your parents, there’s a midnight curfew around here, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks.”
We were thankful he didn’t follow us because we had a long way to walk, and it wasn’t to parents.
As we neared the park and site we were starting to think maybe we wouldn’t get caught after the whole time thinking and having the main subject of talk being “we’re gonna get caught so why not?”. Our hopes were shattered though, when we reached the trail leading to camp and saw a flash light on at the site…but then soon we relized it was only nathan who had the light on when we left too. We made it! And after silent cheers we dispersed and got into our tents. Quietly.
friday.
That day was filled with “Almost gitting caught.” From Jerri’s convo with the sheriff at the visitor’s center(which turned out to be about being accused of sum water balloon fiasco in some bathroom.) to Nathan asking me if I was outside his tent asking-“Where are we going, what are we doing?” In front of the counselors so me and katey made up this whole tale of how I was playing chess in my dreams and asking katey where I should go next. Later in the van I told him the truth. We stopped at gas stations and wendy’s and slept in the van and melted gummi bears with zach’s lighter but other than that nothing much happened. We got to kiwanis early and called our parents…yeh. I know those counselors knew what we did or else they would of busted us…..Yes. Life. Is. Good.
BYEROONi!
~e.
the end.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Friday, January 30, 2004
I'M NOT TIRED!!!
i drank too much caffienated soft drinks tonight. me, jenna and chelsea went to the talent show afterschool, it was packed i was scared i was going to have to stand all show(i was gonna say all night or after noon but neither portrayed the thought correctly.) but i didn't we found seats. the first part was ok. it featured christina aguilera wannabes(seriously, do not take this lightly they sung her songs and didn't sing them good and weren't even in the right key which is a sin to me for my guitar teacher who plays with different bands has frequently lectured me on the importance of the instruments and vocals and such being in the same key-i always had wondered why karaoke sounded so bad.) any ways, but there were some highlights to the first part there was a tap dancer and a 'diablo expert' a diablo being a round hourglass shaped thing on a rubber string and the round thing spins on the rubber thing, it is not however a fort(jenna thought) or a devil (i thought). the second part that featured 'bands' was pretty good it was basically the same guys all switched around in 3 different bands. they were o.k. but like i have said before, you shouldn't expect much from highschool bands. unless there is a humble prodigy. cos if he isn't humble enough he'll probably suck, cos it's relative-if you expect alot and they fall short then they suck. it's not good. expectations ruin lives! anyways... then there was this nerd band...not in a good way they were like the goody goodies and the really really outcasted outcasts playing to gether and it was wierd cos the goody goodies were all clean and on one side of the stage and the really really outcasted outcasts were all dirty and on the other side then there was the drummer who was just 'there'. i was really hoping they'd play some good song but they played some greenday song, it wasn't even a good greenday song. it was one of the gross pop ones. No i'm not denying the fact that they're pop punk i'm just saying it would've been cool if they played something from a cd before dookie. or played something from a preppy obscure band cos preppies think like early november and thursday are obscure. o shush i can stereotype if i want to. ANYWAYS. after the 'show' we went to jenna's and me and chelsea made an independent film of chelsea putting on her make up in the hall mirror and me making soundeffects and it had a deep phsycological meaning that no one except us would get cos we're the deep phsycological types-ofcoarse. than we got back to my house and after my nonprofit house tour we played scruples and blurt! BLURT! was our favorite, well atleast me and jenna's cos chelsea kept complaining about it
o my. i'm watching the game show channel and the music sounds like an upbeat porno groove. o figures, it's 1976.
i drank too much caffienated soft drinks tonight. me, jenna and chelsea went to the talent show afterschool, it was packed i was scared i was going to have to stand all show(i was gonna say all night or after noon but neither portrayed the thought correctly.) but i didn't we found seats. the first part was ok. it featured christina aguilera wannabes(seriously, do not take this lightly they sung her songs and didn't sing them good and weren't even in the right key which is a sin to me for my guitar teacher who plays with different bands has frequently lectured me on the importance of the instruments and vocals and such being in the same key-i always had wondered why karaoke sounded so bad.) any ways, but there were some highlights to the first part there was a tap dancer and a 'diablo expert' a diablo being a round hourglass shaped thing on a rubber string and the round thing spins on the rubber thing, it is not however a fort(jenna thought) or a devil (i thought). the second part that featured 'bands' was pretty good it was basically the same guys all switched around in 3 different bands. they were o.k. but like i have said before, you shouldn't expect much from highschool bands. unless there is a humble prodigy. cos if he isn't humble enough he'll probably suck, cos it's relative-if you expect alot and they fall short then they suck. it's not good. expectations ruin lives! anyways... then there was this nerd band...not in a good way they were like the goody goodies and the really really outcasted outcasts playing to gether and it was wierd cos the goody goodies were all clean and on one side of the stage and the really really outcasted outcasts were all dirty and on the other side then there was the drummer who was just 'there'. i was really hoping they'd play some good song but they played some greenday song, it wasn't even a good greenday song. it was one of the gross pop ones. No i'm not denying the fact that they're pop punk i'm just saying it would've been cool if they played something from a cd before dookie. or played something from a preppy obscure band cos preppies think like early november and thursday are obscure. o shush i can stereotype if i want to. ANYWAYS. after the 'show' we went to jenna's and me and chelsea made an independent film of chelsea putting on her make up in the hall mirror and me making soundeffects and it had a deep phsycological meaning that no one except us would get cos we're the deep phsycological types-ofcoarse. than we got back to my house and after my nonprofit house tour we played scruples and blurt! BLURT! was our favorite, well atleast me and jenna's cos chelsea kept complaining about it
o my. i'm watching the game show channel and the music sounds like an upbeat porno groove. o figures, it's 1976.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
i have another blo-og! http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/ardency/ardency/
not very good. i don't feel like changing to it. it would be a pain. even though the blog thingy is better for it has comments and stuff. o well. i don't need to be reminded that no one reads my blog anyways.
the end.
not very good. i don't feel like changing to it. it would be a pain. even though the blog thingy is better for it has comments and stuff. o well. i don't need to be reminded that no one reads my blog anyways.
the end.
ha ha. i was looking back on my really old drawings from like grade school and all the girls i drew had really saggy breasteses. if i had a scanner i would somehow show you.
the end.
the end.
my stupid bitch of a mother is tracking what i look at on the web. i have nothing to hide but it still pisses me off. privacy is one thing i believe everyone should have. this is such bullshit. even if i did look at porn-what the fuck is wrong with that? don't i have the right to be horny? or to explore that kind of shit? this and many other things have spawned my daily triggered hate against my mother. my daddy is not too much better sometimes, he is so fucking unpredictable you never know when he'll just blow up. you can say the same exact thing at different times and you'll get 2 totally different unrelated responses. but my mother is just a pain in the ass. but even when it was so hellish in the family, when i wished they'd just split up and i was contemplating so many destructive plots and plans, i had to stop and realize that i was scared of being alone with my father or mother alone for too long. i can stand a one on one relationship with one of them for only so long. they balance eachother up. i just started realizing that parents are people, they aren't good, they aren't right. they're just people. they can be bad, and wrong people. Like just because they're your parents not that kid in the Lifetime movie special's parents doesn't mean they aren't' bad people, abusive people, scary people. This thought scares the shit out of me. they are just as likely of freaking out and shooting up the house as that guy a state away who recently appeared on America's Most Wanted.
the end.
p.s. don't you love the picture of the hand? it's courtesy of nataliedee.com the toothpaste for dinner guy's sister's website! crazy.
the end.
p.s. don't you love the picture of the hand? it's courtesy of nataliedee.com the toothpaste for dinner guy's sister's website! crazy.
o and caitlin-what are you selling on ebay lately?
i was watching dinner for five last night and thought hmm... i don't know what they're talking about.
it was on IFC, figures i didn't understand. i don't know too much about the Indie Films. it's hard when i've only seen a couple, well actually more than i knew because when i was at the madstone they had this one preview that listed all these sundance films like the good girl, thirteen etc. and i've seen a bunch of those and those are indies right? i don't know. anyways i've only seen a couple recent ones (thirteen, station agent, in america) and i've loved all they're a good change from the crap commercial ones, not that all those are bad- big fish was pretty good and i own a copy of sea biscuit. i also want to see this one movie but it's a french film and they're too cool for omiting sex scenes so it will be released in america but with a NC-17 rating which means NO ONE under 17 is allowed in even with an adult or w/e. which sucks ass. it makes me mad. i wish weren't such fucking prudes here in america-you'd be surprised how prudish yet disgustingly raunchy we are as a people. in europe they are so limitless. i don't know. i want to live in europe for a year. i also want to live in...well here's a list:
1. NEW YORK...caitlin believes i'm obsessed, i watch sex and the city with dreams of joining carrie and the crew, listen to new york based bands like i'm there with them and read the new yorker even the events like i'll be at the openings. well not really but that sounded good right?
2. California...my daddy lived there a summer and loved it. i've hardly been on the west coast-only in seattle and west side of canada and alaska if that counts. and cali is so totally cool dude! actually o yeh they also have an awesome music scene as i mentioned before.
3. Spain...i would like to start with this disclaimer-i try and try not to sound like some snotty bitch 'world traveler' but for this post i will not give a fuck, get over it....anyways yes i have been to spain before and loved it, just the whole feeling and the fact that i caught up on my current events for CNN and BBC News were the only english channels.
4. London...i've only been there once for a couple days, but why not? i would also like to stay in a smaller town in England like Maidenhead (where i stayed for longer during the same trip) because it was so cool, you could walk to the main town and shop and eat and everything! without crowds! i loved it.
5. Disney World...maybe i'll live in a hotel. But i mean, who wouldn't want to live in Disney World?!
but back to that movie that spawned this all: The Dreamers.
Here's the jist (not to be confused with the jiz-mwa.):
The Dreamers:
The tumultuous political landscape of Paris in 1968 is the backdrop as three young cineastes are drawn together through their passion for film. Matthew, an American exchange student, discovers in French twins Theo and Isabelle a relationship unlike anything he has ever experienced or will ever encounter again... and he longs to be a part of it. Helmed by Academy Award-winning Director Bernardo Bertolucci, the film will star Michael Pitt (MURDER BY NUMBERS), Eva Green and Louis Garrel.
many reasons to see it, it's colorful and beautiful in it's film and i really love micheal pitt. he's awesome. i saw him in bully after reading an article about him in Nylon for guys (shush, it was free with the regular Nylon). that's it. also here's a link to the trailer...TRAILER FOR THE DREAMERS
the end.
p.s. despite my raunchiness bashing i do still have a love for stupid sex comedy, i do admire a good laugh. whether it's from a witty article in the New Yorker or an episode of Jackass.
i was watching dinner for five last night and thought hmm... i don't know what they're talking about.
it was on IFC, figures i didn't understand. i don't know too much about the Indie Films. it's hard when i've only seen a couple, well actually more than i knew because when i was at the madstone they had this one preview that listed all these sundance films like the good girl, thirteen etc. and i've seen a bunch of those and those are indies right? i don't know. anyways i've only seen a couple recent ones (thirteen, station agent, in america) and i've loved all they're a good change from the crap commercial ones, not that all those are bad- big fish was pretty good and i own a copy of sea biscuit. i also want to see this one movie but it's a french film and they're too cool for omiting sex scenes so it will be released in america but with a NC-17 rating which means NO ONE under 17 is allowed in even with an adult or w/e. which sucks ass. it makes me mad. i wish weren't such fucking prudes here in america-you'd be surprised how prudish yet disgustingly raunchy we are as a people. in europe they are so limitless. i don't know. i want to live in europe for a year. i also want to live in...well here's a list:
1. NEW YORK...caitlin believes i'm obsessed, i watch sex and the city with dreams of joining carrie and the crew, listen to new york based bands like i'm there with them and read the new yorker even the events like i'll be at the openings. well not really but that sounded good right?
2. California...my daddy lived there a summer and loved it. i've hardly been on the west coast-only in seattle and west side of canada and alaska if that counts. and cali is so totally cool dude! actually o yeh they also have an awesome music scene as i mentioned before.
3. Spain...i would like to start with this disclaimer-i try and try not to sound like some snotty bitch 'world traveler' but for this post i will not give a fuck, get over it....anyways yes i have been to spain before and loved it, just the whole feeling and the fact that i caught up on my current events for CNN and BBC News were the only english channels.
4. London...i've only been there once for a couple days, but why not? i would also like to stay in a smaller town in England like Maidenhead (where i stayed for longer during the same trip) because it was so cool, you could walk to the main town and shop and eat and everything! without crowds! i loved it.
5. Disney World...maybe i'll live in a hotel. But i mean, who wouldn't want to live in Disney World?!
but back to that movie that spawned this all: The Dreamers.
Here's the jist (not to be confused with the jiz-mwa.):
The Dreamers:
The tumultuous political landscape of Paris in 1968 is the backdrop as three young cineastes are drawn together through their passion for film. Matthew, an American exchange student, discovers in French twins Theo and Isabelle a relationship unlike anything he has ever experienced or will ever encounter again... and he longs to be a part of it. Helmed by Academy Award-winning Director Bernardo Bertolucci, the film will star Michael Pitt (MURDER BY NUMBERS), Eva Green and Louis Garrel.
many reasons to see it, it's colorful and beautiful in it's film and i really love micheal pitt. he's awesome. i saw him in bully after reading an article about him in Nylon for guys (shush, it was free with the regular Nylon). that's it. also here's a link to the trailer...TRAILER FOR THE DREAMERS
the end.
p.s. despite my raunchiness bashing i do still have a love for stupid sex comedy, i do admire a good laugh. whether it's from a witty article in the New Yorker or an episode of Jackass.
i really want to see bubba ho-tep when it comes to a theatre near me. here is what it's all about:
Bubba Ho-Tep
Based on the Bram Stoker Award-nominated short story by acclaimed author Joe R. Lansdale, Bubba Ho-Tep tells the "true" story of what really did become of Elvis Presley. We find Elvis (Bruce Campbell) as an elderly resident in an East Texas rest home, after he had switched identities with an Elvis impersonator years before his "death," then missed his chance to switch back. Elvis teams up with Jack (Ossie Davis), a fellow nursing home resident who actually considers himself to be President John F. Kennedy. The two valiant old codgers sally forth to battle an evil Egyptian entity who has chosen their long-term care facility as his happy hunting grounds.
Directed by: Don Coscarelli
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis, Bob Ivy, Reggie Bannister and Heidi Marnhout
Running Time: 92 minutes
Visit the official site
Rating: R
Released: 2003
lala. plus the hot madstone guy might be there. i will not explain for the fear of being marked obsessed. but i'm not i swear. i just think it's wierd that i remember him when i've only seen him twice. la.
the end.
Bubba Ho-Tep
Based on the Bram Stoker Award-nominated short story by acclaimed author Joe R. Lansdale, Bubba Ho-Tep tells the "true" story of what really did become of Elvis Presley. We find Elvis (Bruce Campbell) as an elderly resident in an East Texas rest home, after he had switched identities with an Elvis impersonator years before his "death," then missed his chance to switch back. Elvis teams up with Jack (Ossie Davis), a fellow nursing home resident who actually considers himself to be President John F. Kennedy. The two valiant old codgers sally forth to battle an evil Egyptian entity who has chosen their long-term care facility as his happy hunting grounds.
Directed by: Don Coscarelli
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis, Bob Ivy, Reggie Bannister and Heidi Marnhout
Running Time: 92 minutes
Visit the official site
Rating: R
Released: 2003
lala. plus the hot madstone guy might be there. i will not explain for the fear of being marked obsessed. but i'm not i swear. i just think it's wierd that i remember him when i've only seen him twice. la.
the end.
